Black Revelations
by A Marauder's Quill
Summary: (Reposted!) I could only stare at him. "Sorry, what was that?" He looked at me in disbelief. "Contrary to what you may believe, Jones, I don't hate you. And I would never wish you dead. Ever." In less than twenty-four hours I realized two things. Two things that had never seemed possible. 1. Sirius Black saved my life. 2. There was some part of him, however small, that was good.'
1. Here We Go Again

**It's here! The official repost of Black Revelations! To new readers, welcome and I sincerely hope you enjoy. Don't forget to review!**

**To old readers: In spite of what that last author's note said... Please forget EVERYTHING you read the first time around. Over the last several months this story has evolved so much and it is not quite the same story you once read. The premise is mostly the same, but a lot of major details are not.**

**I think that's all I have to say, so enjoy! :)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

The scarlet steam engine stood before me, families and students gathered around it. Owls hooted to one another and cats wove in between their owners' legs. Some parents said tearful goodbyes to their children, mostly those of seventh years. The first years were easily noticeable due to their wide eyes and expressions of awestruck wonder. It was a scene I should have had memorized by that point, but I still loved the image of Platform Nine and Three-Quarters on September first.

"Alyssa, remember what we talked about on the way here," my dad told me sternly.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. I loved my parents, really, but sometimes it was like they didn't trust me.

"I know, Dad," I answered. "'Don't get detention again.' I think I've got it by now."

"We mean it, dear," said Mum, giving me a look. "We don't want to hear from the school because you broke the rules again."

"Honestly, it was _once_! Merlin, I hex Black _one_ time and you'd think I told people that I enjoy kicking puppies or something. He so deserved it!"

"Not the point." Dad sighed. "Just stay out of trouble, all right?"

"All right." My eyes caught a glimpse of fiery red hair to my left. "I think I see Lily. Bye, Mum! Bye, Dad! I'll write to you!"

Mum managed to pull me into a hug just before I bolted off. "Have a good term. We'll see you at Christmas."

I waved to them as I pushed through the crowd. For a moment, I lost sight of Lily, but then found her again and decided to have a little fun. She always did startle easily.

Lily was speaking with her parents when I approached. I locked eyes with Mr. Evans for a moment and held up a finger to my lips. The corner of his mouth pulled up the tiniest bit, and he winked so subtly that I almost missed it.

Slowing my pace and trying not to make any sound at all, I crept up behind Lily and thought quickly. A smile slowly spread across my face. I rose up on tiptoes, since she was a good five or six inches taller than I was, and put my mouth right next to her ear. "_Mrow._"

As expected, she jumped about a foot in the air and made a kind of noise that was somewhere between a yelp and a squeal. I barely stepped back in time to avoid getting a mouthful of red hair as she whirled around to face me, reprimand already forming on her lips. But I smiled innocently and waved.

A huge grin replaced her frown. "Alyssa!" She enveloped me in a bone-crushing hug. I laughed and hugged her as well as she said rather quickly, "Oh my Merlin, I can't believe you've been gone for three months and I've _missed_ you! How long have you been back? How was Germany? Most importantly, did you bring me anything?"

"Oh, so _that's_ where your priorities lie," I teased her. "Fine. I've been back for about a week and a half; Germany was fine, but I was ready to come back a month ago; and yes, I brought you some chocolate."

Lily pumped a fist. "Yes! I love German chocolate!"

"As nice as it is for you two hooligans to be together again," Mrs. Evans commented, smiling warmly. "I think it's time for you to get on the train. It's five minutes to eleven."

Lily checked her watch. "You're right, Mum. Love you both! See you at Christmas!" She hugged both of her parents and stepped back.

Before we left them, Mrs. Evans held me back and wrapped me in her arms as well. I smiled at the gesture. They'd told me once that they considered me a surrogate daughter, and they truly meant it. They never failed to write to me on my birthday and invite me over during the holidays, and that was the best feeling ever.

"You're welcome over any time as well, honey," Lily's mum told me. "Write us anytime, you hear?"

"Yes, ma'am!"

I then shared a quick embrace with Mr. Evans, and Lily and I were running to the train. Seconds after reaching our compartment, the train began to move. Barely on time, as usual.

"You'll have to tell me all about your trip," said Lily as we sat down.

"The only notable thing is that I probably gained ten pounds just from my grandmother's cooking," I said, making a face. "That's going to be a pain to work off. But other than that, it wasn't really anything special."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Well, it's not special to you because you lived there for so long."

"Yeah, I guess so. Oma still isn't happy about us moving here, you know; she tried to get us to stay another week, but I had to come back to get my school things."

When I was little, maybe about three or four years old, my parents had moved our small family to Germany. They had never told me why, and I hadn't ever thought to ask either; I assumed it was so we could be closer to our extended family. And then when my older brother Andrew finished school and decided to work with dragons in Romania, that gave us even more reason to stay. But when I received my Hogwarts letter on my eleventh birthday, I had begged my parents to go. They didn't want to send me at first, but I guess my pestering got under their skin and they finally agreed. We moved back to England that summer. Expanding my English vocabulary and doing well in school was a challenge for that first year, but here I was five years later in the top ten of my class, and I couldn't be happier.

The compartment door slid open, and two of my other roommates walked in. Alice Prewett and Marlene McKinnon were best friends much like Lily and I were. The four of us got along pretty well, which couldn't be said for everyone, but it worked for us. The only one missing was Brooke Moore, and that would have made up the Gryffindor sixth year girls, but Brooke didn't talk to us much. I wasn't sure why; she seemed to be pretty nice, if a little shy, and I couldn't remember any of us ever doing anything to seriously offend her. Honestly, it was like she avoided us and we had given up trying to communicate with her. Maybe I should change that this year, I thought.

Lily stood up as Alice and Marlene took their seats, telling us that she had to go to a prefect's meeting and that we'd finish talking about my trip later.

"And I expect my chocolate when I get back!" she told me as an afterthought, disappearing into the train corridor.

**o0o0o0o**

When we got off the train, the platform was already packed with students pushing towards the carriages. I wished I could take the boats with the first years just so I wouldn't have to see the thestrals that pulled those carriages. But I wouldn't want to leave Lily to face it by herself.

I worried about her. After she'd had such a bad year last year, I didn't know how she was going to handle it this time around. It'd only been a year. I could still see the pain in her eyes. But when I looked back to Lily, she'd cast her eyes to the ground.

I turned back around and tried to keep up with Alice and Marlene while keeping a hand on Lily's sleeve. Marlene ran ahead to claim a carriage for us and waited patiently for us to catch up.

"You lot are slower than a flock of flobberworms," she teased when we reached her.

As she and Alice bickered over the flobberworm comment, I glanced over at the thestral in front of our carriage. It snorted and bobbed its reptilian head. I could see each one of its huge ribs underneath its glossy black coat. Its milky white eyes stared off into nothingness.

As Lily was about to climb into the carriage, a third year rushed by. In his haste, he accidentally bowled into me and sent me stumbling. Throwing out an arm to balance myself, the tips of my fingers brushed the thestral's mane.

My entire body went cold. A pit opened up in my stomach. _Oh no,_ I thought. As the third year hurried on his way yelling his apology, Lily turned to see where I had gone. Her eyes widened. "Alyssa?"

I fell to my knees with a loud gasp.

"Alyssa!"

_I couldn't see, but I could smell the smoke. We hunkered down in a back alley, gripping our wands and wondering what we should do. I heard the screams. My heart pounded._

"_I'm gonna get a look at what's going on," one of my companions whispered._

"_Ian, no–"said the other, but Ian was already gone. I heard his footsteps getting quieter as he put distance between us._

"_Lily, stop!"_

"_I have to find him!"_

_The screams had all but stopped, but one more suddenly rose up, louder and more heart wrenching than the others preceding it. _

"_Alyssa!"_

_I couldn't breathe._

"Alyssa!"

My eyes snapped open and I gasped, filling my lungs with coveted oxygen. Hands gripped my shoulders. Panicking, I tried to escape, but the fingers gripped tighter.

"Ow– Alyssa, _stop it_! It's me!"

Slowly, my mind cleared enough to recognize who was speaking to me. It was someone I knew, someone I was comfortable with…

"Come on, snap out of it. It's Lily; now open your eyes."

Lily. Right.

My muscles relaxed and I blinked my eyes open, coming face to face with wide green eyes and a furrowed brow. My vision began to clear, and Lily sighed.

"I hate it when you do that," she muttered.

I held a hand to my aching head. "Yeah, me too." I stood on shaky legs. Lily held a hand out to support me, but I waved her off.

With one last worried glance, Lily climbed into the carriage. I got in after her and settled back into my seat.

"Are you all right, Alyssa?" Marlene asked from the seat across from me. "You look a little pale."

"I'm fine. A third year ran into me and I… hit my head on the side of the carriage," I lied.

I'm not sure if they bought it, but Lily swooped in to save the day, changing the subject. I closed my eyes and let my friends' voices tone down to a dull drone as we trundled up to the castle.

I didn't know why I had those blackouts. I didn't know why I relived the most terrifying moment of my life. It had only happened a few times before, and it was always the same moment in time, but with varying degrees of clarity. There was always some kind of trigger, I always panicked when I came out of it, and I hadn't yet figured out how to stop it. Maybe there _wasn't_ a way to stop it.

No one knew, besides Lily, and even she had found out by accident. I hadn't told my parents, or my roommates, or even my cousin Hestia, who was only a year above me in school and who I usually trusted with this sort of thing. So far I thought I'd done a pretty decent job keeping it secret, but if it happened during class… Well, that would be it. Everyone would know I was crazy.

Fantastic.

A finger sharply prodded me in the side, and I jerked awake. Rubbing my blurry eyes, I realized I must have dozed off.

Quickly, I followed my friends out of the carriage and paused for a moment to take in the breathtaking beauty of Hogwarts. Its many turrets and towers beckoned to me, and I smiled.

The Great Hall was already teeming with students. We found four seats near the middle of the table, two on each side, and rushed to claim them. I caught my cousin's gaze in passing, and Hestia threw a wink at me before turning back to her friends.

"I wonder if I'll get my chance this year," Alice commented, a rosy tint coloring her cheeks. "With Frank, I mean."

Lily grinned. "I've heard sixth year is a good year for new things."

"Maybe Black and Potter will grow up and leave us alone!" I spouted hopefully.

Pause.

"Nah, I take that back," I amended. "That will never happen."

"On the bright side, we only have to deal with them for two more years," Marlene said.

"Two years too long," Lily grumbled.

As if we had summoned them by simply speaking about them, the self-acclaimed Marauders sauntered by our seats. As that incorrigible dog Black passed by, he said, "All right, Jones?"

To which I replied, "Go to hell, Black."

"See you there," he shot back.

Some things never changed. That had been our signature exchange since third year. Outside of that, we hardly spoke. Every now and then we threw an insult or a hex across the common room, but we generally stayed out of each other's way… Well, except for that one time last year when I screamed every profanity under the sun– in English _and_ German, thank you– at him in the middle of the corridor and hexed him all the way to the Hospital Wing.

Professor McGonagall wasn't too pleased with me, but hey, it was a bad week. O.W.L.s and all that.

I hated Black as much as he hated me, and that was how it would stay.

**o0o0o0o**

Up in the dormitory, I listened to my roommates' chatter as I got ready for bed. My headache had only gotten worse as the night progressed, but I knew it would be gone come morning. Sleep couldn't come soon enough.

The door squeaked open. "Oh, hey, Brooke!" Alice said to the newcomer.

I looked over to Brooke's bed, which was to the right of mine, and for the first time noticed that our quiet roommate had not yet come up to bed. She was usually the first one here.

"Hello," Brooke muttered, pushing her dirty blonde bangs out of her face. Ducking her head, she scuttled over to her trunk and dug around in it.

"How was your summer?" I asked, trying to make polite conversation.

Clutching some clothes to her chest, she straightened. "Um… it was fine."

"Did you do anything special?"

She shook her head, and I noticed that her eyes fell just south of mine. "No, not really."

Vague answers, short sentences, and minimal eye contact. That was Brooke Moore in a nutshell. She reminded me of a jittery rabbit, the way her eyes constantly moved, the barest touch causing her to jump.

When I didn't respond, Brooke took her things to the bathroom and closed the door. I shook my head. She certainly was a character.

After telling my friends goodnight, I blew out my candle and crawled into bed. I pulled the covers up to my chin and breathed deeply. This, this was home. I relaxed, and as I let sleep pull me in, I told myself that it would be a great year.

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><p><strong>I do love a good first chapter. Updates will be <em>weekly,<em> as of right now. I'm just starting college and I still don't know how much free time I will have.**

**You can check/follow my blog for updates on the writing process at (remove spaces): amqfanfic . tumblr . com**

**Please leave a review and tell me what you think!**

**~AMQ**


	2. Bad Omens and the Two Evils

**And here is chapter 2! Thank you to everyone who reviewed/favorited the last chapter and I hope you all enjoy this one! Don't forget to review!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

If the first day of classes was an omen for how the rest of the year would turn out, then I wanted to go home.

It was bad enough when I woke up late, exhausted from my episode the previous evening. Lily shook me awake before she left, and I bolted out of bed into the shower. With no time for breakfast, I hurried down the corridors as fast as I could to retrieve my timetable from the Great Hall. However, Peeves tricked me on the way down. I'd reached for the door handle of a shortcut I knew, but it wasn't a handle. It was like taking hold a rotten banana, and whatever it was fell apart in my hands, leaving a sticky, smelly residue.

"Urgh!" I groaned, shaking my hand to rid it of the slime.

I heard a gleeful cackle from the top of the column next to me, and looked up to see Peeves sitting there, grin nearly splitting his face in two.

"Oh, bugger off, Peeves!" I snapped, clearing the gunk off the door with my wand before bustling through.

I nearly had to run the remainder of the way to the Great Hall after washing my hands in the bathroom (Cleaning charms on skin? Bad idea. Trust me.). Praying that my first class wasn't on the other side of the school, I snatched up my schedule from the Gryffindor table and breathed a sigh of relief. Potions was first.

So I rushed down to the dungeons and dropped into my seat next to Lily just as the bell rang to signal class time. She gave me a sideways glance and laughed. "You lucky little–"

Professor Slughorn bustled in, loudly announcing the start of class.

My next class was Care of Magical Creatures. And for a "first day treat," as Professor Kettleburn called it, we got to feed the baby Grindylows before they were released into the lake. He really should rethink the definition of "treat."

As I lowered a piece of kelp into the tank, the baby Grindylow's beady black eyes got an evil glint. It jumped up, out of the water, and snatched the kelp out of my hand. But in the process, its teeth clamped down on one of my fingers.

I yelped and shook my hand frantically in an effort to shake it off. It finally fell back into its tank with a splash, shooting me a disgruntled glare as it swam to the bottom.

I cursed and held my bleeding, throbbing hand to my chest. Professor Kettleburn hurried over. "Miss Jones, is something the matter?"

"The little blighter bit me!" I cried, showing him my hand.

"Oh, dear, that's no good," he clucked. "Ah, I had a scar from a Grindylow at one point– of course, it's not there anymore, hehe." He gestured to his hand that had only two fingers.

_Thank you, Kettleburn. I feel_ great _now,_ I thought.

"Ah, right. You may want to go to the Hospital Wing and get that checked out, hmm?" he continued.

Lily gave me a sympathetic glance on my way out. I glared. It was her fault I was even taking the class in the first place. It wasn't like I needed it, but Lily wanted to take it and didn't want to be the only Gryffindor there.

Madam Pomfrey was simply shocked to see someone in her care before noon on the first day of class, but when I explained the situation to her, she lifted her eyes to the heavens with an exasperated sigh.

"That man will cause a student to lose an arm one day," she ranted, putting a salve over the cut and bandaging it.

Charms darkened my mood even more.

I was digging in my bag for some ink when I realized who had taken the seat behind me. Now it may seem a little creepy to say this, but I could tell who it was by the smell. For such an insufferable prat, Black had good taste in cologne.

I didn't spare him a glance as I turned towards the front of the room.

And then he had to go and be his dreadful self.

He tapped my shoulder. I tried not to recoil and acted like I didn't notice.

_Tap, tap, tap._

I clenched my jaw.

_Tap, tap–_

"Merlin, Black, _what?_" I growled, craning my neck around to see him. "What could possibly be so important that, of all people, you have to bother _me_?"

Black raised an eyebrow, an amused smirk playing at his lips. "I only wanted to borrow a quill, Jones. No need to throw a tantrum."

"I am not throwing a tantrum!" I protested, clenching my fists.

"Whatever you say, Jones."

I huffed. "Go to hell, Black."

"See you there."

I turned around again and glared at the chalkboard. Stupid Black. Stupid _Standard Book of Spells: Grade 6_. Stupid non-verbal spells.

_Tap, tap, tap._

"So how about that quill?" Black.

I chucked a quill over my shoulder and hoped it poked his eye. He merely laughed, so I assumed it didn't. Too bad.

**o0o0o0o**

Two weeks later, the school routine had returned. Gone were the lenient days of post-summer haze.

Ha. That rhymed. _Days. Haze. Days, haze, days, haze– Merlin, Alyssa! Focus!_

I gritted my teeth and focused on the paragraph I was trying to read. Slughorn had assigned an essay on some law on antidotes. I peeked through my eyelashes to see where Lily was at, only to find her scribbling furiously across her scroll, which was already half filled with her tiny writing.

I sighed and stood from the table we'd claimed, telling her I would be back in a minute. That old book wasn't getting me anywhere.

The back of the library was a dusty, deserted place. Usually the only people who ventured there were those who had express permission to go into the Restricted Section. Well, them and the truly devoted Ravenclaws.

I found myself in said deserted place, skimming the shelves devoted to Potions. A few minutes of searching earned me a leather bound copy of _All About Antidotes._ Well, that would be handy. For good measure I added in a book titled _Lexicon of Herbs and Remedies._

As I began to make my way back to my table, a conversation met my ears. Now I'm not one to eavesdrop, but way back here? It was an uncommon thing. Not to mention it was between Brooke and Potter.

"I… I just like it back here," Brooke was saying in a very soft voice. "I can work without being distracted."

"That's not very fun," said Potter.

"What are you doing here anyway? I don't think I've ever seen you in the library before."

"I've been in the library plenty of times! I love the library!" Potter said indignantly. I held back a snort while he paused. "No, I don't. That's a lie."

An awkward silence descended, so I figured that was as good a time as any to take my leave.

"Hey, why don't you sit with us?" Potter suddenly offered.

Brooke was obviously just as shocked as I was. I peeked around the corner. Her face was tinged pink, eyes set on the table as she bit her lip. "Oh, I…. um…" she stammered.

"Come on, no one should study alone!" he pressed.

The words spilled out of my mouth before I realized it. "Oh, just leave her alone, Potter. She obviously doesn't want to." Lifting an eyebrow, I leveled a stare at Potter. "Can't say I blame her, either."

Potter scowled at me, but then his expression changed from sulky to curious. "Brooke, are you sure you don't want to come over to sit with us?"

She offered a barely-there smile. "I'm sure. Thanks, though."

He hesitated a moment before nodding and turning to go back the way he came.

Brooke visibly relaxed, shoulders slumping forward, but I wasn't done yet. I waited while Brooke noticed that she wasn't quite alone.

"I couldn't help overhearing some of that." I shifted the heavy books in my arms, blowing out a puff of air. "He's kind of right, you know. No one should be completely alone."

She didn't answer, so I kept talking. "I'm not trying to force you into this, but you're always welcome to sit with me and the other girls. I know the Marauders don't mind you being with them either."

Brooke coughed. "Alyssa, I–"

"Please, I'm not finished," I interrupted. No longer able to look her directly in the eye, I let guilt cast my gaze to the ground. "What I'm saying is… Well, I know we haven't really been friends over the years… I mean, we've lived together for going on six years and barely know each other." I paused. "I'm sorry for not really making a huge effort at that. But maybe we could change that this year."

"It's not your fault. I kind of avoid people…" The words seemed to tumble out of her mouth against her will, if the sudden paleness and pursed lips were anything to go by.

I scrunched my brow and looked up. "Why is that?"

Brooke didn't look willing to say anymore, so I let it go, though the words gnawed at my mind. "You don't have to tell me," I amended. "But the offer still stands. You could sit with us tonight at dinner, if you like."

Slowly, reluctantly, she nodded. I smiled at her, hoping that was enough encouragement to quell any reservations she might have had.

"Did you get lost?" Lily joked when I returned. I didn't reply, so she looked up for the first time and grew serious. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"Do… do you think there's something off about Brooke?" I asked.

"Well, she's always been a bit… introverted," Lily mused. "And she's always avoided us for some reason."

"That's exactly the problem," I said. "I've thought the same thing, but she basically told me a few minutes ago that she goes out of her way to avoid people– _all_ people, not just us."

Lily frowned. "But… but _why?_ No one actually isolates themselves simply because they don't like other people… right?"

I rubbed my temples, where a headache was forming. "No, I don't suppose they do. Not without very good reason."

Something about Brooke Moore didn't add up. And it seemed so glaringly obvious, like I should be able to name it without a second's hesitation, but at the same time it was just out of reach. But whatever it was, it didn't sit right with me. Not at all.

**o0o0o0o**

When I was suddenly yanked into an alcove while walking back to Gryffindor Tower alone, my first thought was something along the lines of: _Oh my Merlin, I'm about to be kidnapped and sold to a cult of vampires like in that book Lily told me to read._

Fortunately, the situation wasn't quite that drastic. Close, but not quite.

I wrenched my arm free of my assailant's grip, turning and drawing my wand in one smooth movement. It was only when the tip of my wand rested at his throat did I fully realize who it was.

"What do you want, Severus?" I spat.

He raised an eyebrow and used his finger to nudge my wand away from his neck. "I need a favor, Jones."

Oh, of course he did. I didn't see _that_ one coming.

I stowed my wand and turned my back to him, already knowing his so-called favor. "If this is about what you said to Lily last year, you can forget it."

"Alyssa, please." That stopped me in my tracks, but only for a moment. Never had he called me by my name, much less begged me for something. Before I could continue on my way, his hand closed around my arm again in a surprisingly strong grip.

"Let me go!" I growled, pulling and twisting in an effort to break his hold. But Severus held on.

"I need you to talk to Lily, convince her to let me explain myself," he insisted.

I stopped struggling and stared at him. Was he actually serious? Did he really think that was a possibility?

"Listen here, Snape," I said lowly, coldly. "I don't like you. I have _never_ liked you. The only reason I put up with you is because my best friend liked you for some reason that is beyond my knowledge. And now she has finally decided that you're not worth all the crap you put her through. What could have possibly given you the idea that I would _help_ you?"

His expression turned remorseful. "At least tell her I'm sorry. I–"

"Oi, Snivellus!" a voice interrupted. "Bothering Jones is my job exclusively!"

I closed my eyes and stifled a groan. Please, no. Not him. Anyone but him.

Sirius Black sauntered up to us, obnoxious grin in place. "Now if you'd like to join the effort," he continued, still speaking to Severus, "there is a lengthy application process available in my office, located in the Gryffindor common room, from one to four o'clock on Tuesdays and Thursdays." He frowned, studying Severus's silver and green tie. "Or, in your case, outside the Gryffindor common room, considering you're… that."

Snape released my arm as though he'd been burned. "Stay out of this, Black."

Black pretended like he hadn't heard, looking thoughtful. "I think we'll need a name for our little group. I am, of course, open to suggestions. What do you say, Snivelly?"

Snape finally growled under his breath and stalked off. Black called after him, "Well, fine! I guess I'll throw out that scarf I made you!" He turned to me with a chagrined sigh. "Shame, really. I worked really hard on those nametags."

What just happened?

I stood in shock for a moment before finding my voice. "My situation hasn't improved! I've merely traded one evil for another!"

"A simple 'thank you' would be nice," he replied drily.

With one last heated glare, I said, "Sirius Black, unless one day you pull my unconscious body from a burning building, I will not be saying thank you."

As I strode away, all I could think was how badly I wanted to smack that smug grin off his stupid face.

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><p><strong>And that's it! I really liked writing that last scene haha. <strong>

**As I said before, please leave a review and tell me what you think! Also, check my blog for updates on the writing process throughout the week:**

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**~AMQ**


	3. October Fourteenth

**Hello! Thank you to everyone who alerted/favorited this story last time, and thanks to AnneDance 1711 for reviewing! **

**I hope you all enjoy this one! (It's one of my favorites, but be warned: it gets a little dark.)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

October fourteenth: the worst day of the year.

Well, one of them at least. The absolute _worst_ day of the year was back in July, but I hadn't been around for that one.

I dreaded the day from the moment I closed my eyes the night before. Knowing how bad this day was last year, I could only pray that it would be a little easier this time around.

I woke up before anyone else– with the exception of Brooke, who was always absent from our room by six-thirty– unable to even think about going back to sleep, and got first dibs on the shower. I spent longer than usual under the hot spray, letting the water pound on my already tense back. With my bottom lip between my teeth, I wondered how the day was going to play out. Having been out of the country on the anniversary, I had no idea what to expect from Lily. These days hurt her more than they hurt me.

When I emerged from the bathroom, dressed in uniform, hair tamed into a curly ponytail and makeup hiding the dark circles under my eyes, Alice and Marlene were just rising. Lily still hadn't moved from her bed, which was highly abnormal.

Pushing aside the curtains around her bed and sitting down on the edge, I studied her still form. She had her back turned to me, facing the window, and was making a valiant effort to pretend to be sleeping. I put my hand on her shoulder. "Lily, it's time for breakfast."

She was silent for a long minute. "Not hungry."

"Maybe not, but you still have to eat something."

"I don't want to eat."

"I don't care, you have to," I ordered sternly. Yeesh, when did I start sounding so much like a mother? "I know you, Lily, and I know that you get sick if you don't eat anything in the morning. So get up and get ready."

She rolled over to her back and glared at me with red-rimmed eyes. Oh no, she'd already been crying. I refused to give in to her obvious plea for solitude, and with a defeated sigh she sat up, letting her head come to rest on my shoulder.

"Today should have been his eighteenth birthday," Lily whispered.

I ran my hand down her hair. "I know."

That was all that needed to be said. Lily took another moment to compose herself before rising and gathering everything she needed for her morning routine. Not long after, we were arriving in the Great Hall for breakfast.

I tried to get her to eat a decent meal, but she was adamantly "not hungry" and so settled on a small bowl of porridge, which she merely poked at and stirred around.

Several minutes of tense silence passed before Lily set down her spoon with a sigh. "I should have been there with him. I should have followed him, should have–"

"N-no," I stuttered, shocked at her words. My heart fell to my stomach and the world seemed to stop turning. "Lily, stop– don't say that!"

"He shouldn't have had to die alone!" Lily shot back, expression crumpling with anguish.

"So you would have died with him? No, you're not allowed to say that!" I snapped, the words coming out far more sharply than I intended. Lily looked at me with surprise and a little bit of anger, but I didn't relent. "Because you know what that would mean? That would mean one more person not coming back to Hogwarts, one more friend I lost! You don't get to pity yourself that much, Lily."

She stared at me for a few moments, lost for words. Maybe what I said was a bit on the harsh side, but I wasn't going to sugarcoat the truth for her. Not this time.

I took a moment to steady my racing heart before continuing gently, "You're here for a reason. I don't know, maybe it's so I keep my sanity every time the Marauders pull a stunt. Or so you can be in the right place at the right time to save the world. Or maybe you'll just save one someone. And that someone saves the world." My voice dropped to a whisper. "Whatever it is, you've got a purpose, Lils."

For a long time she didn't react. I watched cloaked emotions flit through her eyes, thoughts carefully guarded so I couldn't see what was really going on. Did my speech make it through that pretty head of hers? Or was her grief so deep that it veiled everything I needed her to know?

But tentatively, ever so slowly, Lily nodded once. After a moment's hesitation she picked up her spoon and the world resumed its course.

**o0o0o0o**

Sometimes, I could forget about the war bubbling under the peaceful surface of Hogwarts. But there were times when it smacked me right in the face. Or in Lily's case, the heart.

It was a blistering day in July, the day our worlds were tipped upside down. Lily and I had taken two seats in the Leaky Cauldron while waiting for our company to arrive.

While I perused the menu, Lily tore her paper napkin to shreds. "Where is he?" she fretted.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "He'll show, Lils. Calm down."

"I'm calm!" she protested shrilly.

"Mhmm. Sure you are."

Even though this was technically _her_ date with Ian Darby, Lily had insisted that I come along. She claimed it was so I wouldn't have to stay at her house alone with Petunia, since I was staying with their family for two weeks. But I knew that in reality, her father hadn't wanted her to go alone on a date with a boy he'd never met. And while Lily pretended to be annoyed with her dad, I got the feeling she was a little relieved that she wouldn't be completely alone, either.

So there I sat in a pub, the potentially awkward third wheel on my best friend's first "date."

Technically, Lily and Ian were already an official couple. Had been for nearly five months, in fact. (Though I admit I had been betting on the two of them for years.) However, they'd never been on a one-on-one date, considering they'd both had plans on the last Hogsmeade weekend and never seemed to be alone outside of classes. And so, as per Mr. Evans's orders, we made plans for a chaperoned date under the clever guise of a group back-to-school shopping trip.

"He's late," Lily muttered. She'd moved on to tapping her fingers on the table once all of her napkin was adequately torn up.

I put down my menu, grabbed her wrist, and turned it toward me so that I could see her watch. This time I didn't spare her the eye-roll. "Only by seven minutes."

"Feels longer."

"You're the one who insisted on getting here early," I pointed out.

Lily didn't answer, instead choosing to pick at her fingernails. I tried to block out her persistent fidgeting, but it slowly began to grate on my nerves. Why had I let her drag me along?

We sat there for a full twenty minutes before I'd had enough. Knowing Ian wasn't stupid enough to completely ditch his date, and seeing the defeated and heartbroken look in Lily's eyes, I knew something had to be done.

Dumping a couple sickles on the table to cover our drinks, I stood. Lily looked up.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Winning the award for best friend ever," I said under my breath.

"What?"

"I'm going to find Ian," I answered shortly. I wasn't sure if I was angry with the guy or worried that something had happened to him.

Without checking to see if Lily was following, I strode over to the fireplace on the other side of the pub and grabbed a handful of Floo powder. I took a deep breath, spoke Ian's address, and stepped into the green flames.

One dizzying, sooty trip later, I stepped out of the fireplace into Ian's living room. It was eerily silent, lacking the life and vibrancy it had possessed the last time I'd come. The front door stood wide open, while a quick peek in the kitchen revealed scattered and overturned chairs, as though their occupants had left in a hurry.

Lily stepped out behind me. She gasped, taking in the same things I'd seen. But instead of standing there in shocked stupor like I did, she hurried upstairs to check the other rooms in the house. "Ian?" I heard her call. "Mrs. Darby?"

A chill ran down my spine. Something here was about to go terribly wrong.

"Lily!" I screamed in a near panic. "We have to get out of here!"

She clambered down the stairs, eyes wide. "No one's here. They're gone."

"Yes, like we should be. Let's _go_!" I turned to go back to the fireplace, but froze when I heard faint popping noises from the walls. I had heard that before. "Lily!" I grabbed her wrist and dragged her out the front door.

We barely made it to the street before it happened. I pushed Lily to the ground and threw myself down beside her, hands over my head. A moment later Ian's house and the two on either side of it were blown to smithereens.

I felt the shockwave ripple through the ground. My ears were ringing. Blinking through the dust and smoke, I sat up and turned, looking at the blackened shells where homes once stood. Flames still roared on the ground surrounding them, eating up the dry grass. From the corner of my eye I could see Lily moving her mouth, but I didn't know what she said. I was too focused on how we were supposed to get out of there. A crazy stroke of luck was the only reason we were alive at that moment, but with nothing left of the Darby home, we were trapped. There wasn't a fireplace to use, not one that we knew was connected to the Floo network. Lily and I couldn't apparate yet, either. Vaguely, I registered that it wasn't an accident. Only magical explosions made that kind of popping noise before they happened. This village was under attack, and I would bet everything I had on Death Eaters.

Shakily I stood. We were sitting ducks out in the open. It was best to get out of sight, and fast. I pulled Lily away from the carnage and started running, no particular destination in mind. A wooded area surrounded Ian's neighborhood, so I decided we could take cover there for a while.

My feet carried us farther and farther away from what we just saw. I couldn't seem to stop walking. Stopping would mean having time to think about how close we came to dying just minutes ago. No, I would keep walking until I couldn't walk anymore.

When we started seeing buildings beyond the tree line, I realized we'd gone too far. My hearing hadn't fully returned yet, but I could hear enough to know that the Death Eaters hadn't stopped at blowing up people's homes. It was a full-scale attack, targeting the people in the center of town as well. I turned around, prepared to start walking the other way, far away from this mess, but Lily gripped my arm.

"I see him!" she said. Without any warning, she started running toward town.

"Lily!" I cried, chasing after her. "You _idiot_, you're going to get us killed!"

She didn't acknowledge my comment. I pumped my legs harder, trying to keep up with her long strides, but she still managed to stay a few feet ahead of me.

I didn't see what she did, but I followed her anyway, and nearly ran into her when she skidded to a stop behind a building at the edge of the woods. Seeing no sign of Ian, I was about to tell her that it had been her imagination, and that we should go back, but then a person came stumbling around the corner, barely dodging a streak of red light.

"Ian!" Lily hissed. The person looked up, blond bangs flopping in front of his slowly widening eyes.

"What are you two doing here?!" he spat. I cringed. Oh, he was pissed.

"We came looking for you–"

"You should have left when you had the chance!"

"Well, that wasn't exactly possible," I put in, nodding my head toward the smoke billowing over the treetops. Ian looked in that direction and clenched his jaw.

"Figures," he muttered.

"How long has this been going on?" Lily asked.

"I was about to leave to meet you two when it started," he answered. "So, I dunno, an hour?"

"No Aurors?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Something's blocking apparition in and out of here. If they're coming, they would have to apparate to the outer edge of the wards. Probably about four miles or so from here, if the wards stop at the town limits."

A bloodcurdling chorus of screams had Lily and I shrinking against the wall, Ian clenching his wand in his fist. I could see that he wanted to get back into the fray, but not wanting to leave us either. He turned his head just enough for me to see his left cheek, which was smeared with blood. His clothes were covered with soot and dirt, but it was the look in his eyes that unsettled me. I knew Ian. He was a bright, fun boy. But that wasn't the person I saw before me. I was used to that spark of intelligence that had drawn Lily to him for years, the air of confidence that told you he had all the answers. It was colder now. His wit had hardened into calculation. His eyes darted around as he measured everything, watching carefully for any danger. When I saw his analytical gaze as he slowly moved to stand beside Lily, I knew I wasn't looking at the boy I had known, but as a man ready to fight this suddenly very real war. And die if he had to.

I closed my eyes, heart pounding, and tried to take a deep, calming breath. I instantly regretted it though, as the air was quickly becoming tinged with more smoke. Coughs shook my chest, and I tried not to be too loud about it, in case Death Eaters were nearby. Then our seemingly safe place wouldn't be so safe anymore, I would imagine. Ian had scooted next to Lily, taking her hand. Lily didn't look as scared as I felt, though her eyes darted between me and Ian with concern.

Finally, after minutes of waiting and listening, Ian muttered, "I'm gonna get a look at what's going on."

"Ian, no–" Lily started.

"Stay here," he ordered, squeezing her hand for a brief moment. Then he was gone.

Lily looked like she was about to take off after him in spite of his warning. I put my hand on her arm and shook my head. If we went out there, we'd be dead in seconds. Reluctantly, Lily settled back down against the wall, though we were both on edge.

We only remained in our position for mere minutes before everything happened in one huge blur.

First, it was the Aurors. They streamed into town from all directions at breakneck speed, brandishing wands and firing spells at whatever they deemed a threat. Thankfully, if they saw us, they didn't consider either of us to be a threat.

Next, a single chilling scream cut through the air. Lily's eyes grew to the size of saucers, my heart dropped to my stomach, and we both knew whose scream it was.

Then I found myself on my feet, running after my best friend who was blindly tearing through the streets in search of her boyfriend. A couple Aurors were yelling at us to get out of the way, to hide, that we had no business there, but we kept on.

"Lily, stop!" I tried.

"I have to find him!" she answered, not slowing down in the least. I was so scared I could barely keep after her as fire and bursts of light shot past us. I lost sight of her a few times in the smoke, but glimpses of her red hair kept floating up as if to signal her location.

She came to a halt at the next intersection, eyes fixed on something around the corner. I peered around her body gasped.

Ian was writhing on the ground, crying out in pain. A figure cloaked in black held their wand over his body, and their silver mask left enough of their face free so that I could see the sadistic joy Ian's pain brought.

An Auror brushed past me, nearly knocking me over while he brandished his wand at the Death Eater holding Ian captive. The Death Eater looked up, snarled a curse, and released Ian. He gasped, and Lily sobbed with relief.

"Ian," she sighed, moving to stand next to him.

But then… then a final stream of light flowed from the Death Eater's wand, green this time. Ian's body went limp, and his killer was gone in a puff of black smoke, before any Auror could detain him. It all happened so fast that my head reeled.

Lily bolted forward, and I was too stunned to stop her. I saw her feeling for a pulse, even though we both knew he was gone. Dead.

"Ian!" Lily screamed so loudly it hurt my ears. "Ian, wake up!" She hunched over his lifeless body. The image of my best friend breaking apart sent a new wave of terror through me. I told myself to go to her, to touch her, to try to comfort her.

But I couldn't.

All I could do was stare as Lily's sobs quieted to soft whimpers as she held Ian's head to her chest.

A still silence had fallen over the village; no screams, no sounds of battle, nothing. All the Death Eaters had disappeared. The only sounds were Aurors conversing among themselves, now having nothing to do but count the dead and wait for the Obliviators to arrive. I heard a low mention of two captured Death Eaters on the other side of town.

More pops filled the air as Ministry workers apparated onto the scene. Magical Law Enforcement, Magical Accidents and Catastrophes, surely. Maybe some others.

"Hey, Jones, isn't that your daughter?" someone muttered behind me.

"Alyssa?"

I turned, and there was my dad. My dad, who had been called onto scenes much like this one far too many times in the past several weeks. Dad, who'd come home worn out from having to wipe the memories of Muggles and relocate them, sometimes with entirely new identities.

"Daddy," I gasped as he got closer. I didn't realize I was holding back a sob until he had me in his arms. My fingers gripped his shirt as hot tears leaked out of my eyes.

"Alyssa, what are you doing here?" Dad asked in a strained voice, barely holding back his panic.

"I-Ian didn't show up at Diagon Al-alley," I stammered. "We came looking for him and got here and–"

He nodded, pulling me in closer when my voice failed. He pressed a kiss to my temple. "Are you hurt?"

I shook my head.

"Good." Dad pulled back and wiped my cheeks with his thumbs. "Let's get you and Lily home, all right?"

He took my hand like I was a little girl who couldn't cross the street by herself, then pulled me over to where an Auror had taken Lily to the side so that Ian's body could be moved. Dad took Lily's hand too, and then we were being pressed in on all sides while he apparated us home. My mum took one look at Lily's tearstained, blotchy face and pulled her into an embrace. While Dad went back to the decimated village, I turned to the window, concealing my own tears, and trying to breathe normally. I was glad my mother was there to be with Lily, as I suddenly incapable of movement.

"Why," I heard Lily cry into my mother's shoulders. "Why did it have to be my-" but her tears broke through her words. I shut my eyes as the tears fell.

Why.

**o0o0o0o**

"Hey, Jones."

A finger sharply poked my shoulder, and I jerked out of my daydream back into reality. Potter stood in front of me, brow furrowed in what might have been concern, but I was banking on discomfort. Or constipation.

"What?" I said, internally wincing at the gravelly edge to my voice. How long had I just been sitting there?

"Are you… all right?" Potter asked uncertainly, as though unsure of how I would react to the simple question.

I cleared my throat. "Yes, of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

"You were crying."

I hastily wiped my face with my sleeves. "No, I wasn't. Now what do you want? I know you didn't come to me out of the goodness of your heart."

He frowned some more, but didn't push. "Well, er… I was going to ask if you could ask Lily something for me."

Now sure that my face was dryer than a desert, I folded my hands in my lap and looked up at him. "James?"

Caught off guard by the use of his given name, he stared at me with wide eyes. "Yeah?"

"Am I covered in feathers?"

"Are you cov– What? Um… No?" The answer sounded like a question.

"Can I fly?"

"Not without a broom, I guess not," he said. "Jones, what does this have to do with anything?"

I ignored his question with all the innocence of a first year Hufflepuff. "Do I live among birds?"

"Well if by 'birds' you mean 'girls,' then–"

"My point is, Potter," I spoke over him, cutting off the rest of his unsavory declaration. "I am not your messenger owl! If you want to talk to Lily, _talk to Lily!_ Not. Me." I threw my hands up in frustration. "Why is this a concept everyone seems to struggle with? Lily is _not_ a hard person to talk to. Getting her to shut up is the problem, by Merlin!"

Seemingly stunned by my tirade, Potter blinked a couple times and stood. "Erm… okay then."

Now alone, I watched Potter's retreating back and pinched my nose, hoping to relieve some of the tension there. I hated October the fourteenth.

I picked up the book that had fallen off my lap and tried to get back into the story, but the words blurred together as my mind kept jumping back to the day Ian Darby died before my very eyes.

It shouldn't have been him, that much I agreed with Lily on. Call me a terrible person, but I wished it had been anyone _other_ than Ian, if only to spare Lily that kind of pain. At least he would be here, with her, and she would still be happy.

"Hey, Lily!" I heard Potter say a few minutes later.

I glanced over and saw him standing in front of the entryway to the girls' staircase. Lily's shoulders were slumped, her hair falling limply out of her usually immaculate ponytail. Her body language screamed of exhaustion and low patience.

Potter began to say something, but Lily cut him off. "Will you _please_ just bugger off, James?" Her words, while a repetition of her near constant rejection of his advances, held none of their usual bite.

Potter blinked, probably noticing the exact difference that I did. His mouth opened again, then closed, and he shook his head, stepping aside to let Lily by. He stared after her, perplexed. His face was turned toward me and I caught something I had not expected: worry. Probably close to the same look I had been wearing for most of the day.

As I turned back to my book, I wondered if maybe, just maybe James Potter was growing up and changing for the better.

* * *

><p><strong>Does anyone hate me yet? Let me know what you think and leave a review! See you all next Friday!<strong>

**~AMQ**


	4. Letters, Quidditch, and Invisibility

**Hello hello! As always, thanks to everyone who favorited/added this story to their alerts. And also, thanks to AnneDance 1711 for reviewing the last chapter.**

**I hope you all like this chapter! It's a pretty important one. ;)**

**Disclaimer (because I have been forgetting these): I do not own Harry Potter. Sad day, it is.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>

I opened a letter from my brother at the breakfast table and smiled because… well, it was Drew, and he _hated_ writing letters.

_Dear Alyssa,_

_So to get straight to the point: I've met a girl. (Yes, a human one. Wipe that grin off your face.) And don't even think about telling me I'm too old for this. I'm twenty-six, not eighty._

_Her name is Riley Scott. I actually met her about six months ago through some mutual friends, but only recently has it turned serious. Call me crazy, but I think I want to marry her. Want to know how I came to that conclusion? She flipped me. Literally, she grabbed my arm and next thing I knew, I was flat on my back looking at the sky. And I didn't want to crumple her into a ball of the tiny girl she used to be, I… kind of wanted to kiss her. So I did, and… You know what? I'm not going to tell you the rest. Because you're my baby sister and somehow that just seems wrong._

_I suppose that's all I wanted to say. Just thought you should know now, before I bring her home for Christmas and you flip on me for not telling you sooner._

_Don't do anything stupid, okay? Go study or something._

_Love,_

_Drew._

I stared at the paper in my hands, shocked. Then I read it again. And once more for good measure. Was this a joke? It didn't seem to be, but Drew was a little unpredictable at times. When I was five, he convinced me that I wasn't really his sister, but that I had been found buried under a rock outside our house, and that I was really a troll.

And of course there was the famous time when I was seven, and he told me that I was a ghost instead of a girl, wandering the house all those years. He got me to jump out of a window, the jerk! Six bruises, three scabs, a sprained wrist, and many, many beatings later (for him), he apologized. But that didn't stop him from trying to find ways to trick me, becoming more subtle in his ways as the years passed.

"Hey, Alyssa!" My cousin Hestia plopped down in the seat in front of me, snitching a piece of toast off my plate as she did so. When I didn't answer, she frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Drew," I whispered. "Drew… Drew, he…"

Hestia visibly paled. "Oh. Oh, Merlin. What happened?"

"He… He's…"

"Spit it out, Alyssa! Did he…" Her voice dropped. "Did he die?"

"No, no, it's worse!"

She merely stared for a moment, then narrowed her eyes. "Alyssa, I seriously thought something was wrong! How could anything be worse?" She viciously tore off a chunk of toast with her teeth.

"Drew's… he's in _love_!" I whispered in horror.

Hestia gasped, then proceeded to choke and hack on the toast. "What?!" she wheezed.

"That's what I said!" I cried.

"Is she human?!"

"I mean, he says she is but, frankly, I'm skeptical."

"I won't believe it until I see this girl," Hestia stated. I nodded.

"Maybe she'll stick around long enough to meet the family at Christmas."

Hestia shrugged, then stood. "Maybe. I'll see you later, okay?"

I waved to her as she went to her first class, then resigned myself to following her example and leaving the Great Hall now, while there was ample time to get to class without running.

I sat down at my usual table with Lily in Ancient Runes. "Lils, you won't _believe _what I got in the post this morning!"

But I didn't get to finish telling her my story. A group of Ravenclaws ambled into the room, laughing and generally having a good time. One of them wasn't paying attention to where he was walking, and ran right into our table. My books toppled off the corner, the pieces of parchment stuck between the pages flying out.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," he said, immediately crouching to pick up the mess. I got up too and tried to help, but he'd already gathered it all. He neatly stacked each book and paper and held them out to me. "My apologies, again. I should have been looking."

Words failed me when I realized exactly who this was. Adam Smith was undoubtedly one of the most attractive boys in the school. He had a heart stopping smile and eyes that you could melt into… so I'd been told. Psssh. Who actually believed that crap? Not me.

I picked my jaw up off the floor and gave him what I hoped was an easy smile. "Don't worry about it."

"It's Alyssa, right?" he asked.

_He knows my name! _one part of my mind screeched.

_Pull yourself together!_ the other shouted.

I nodded.

He extended a hand for me to shake. "I'm Adam."

_I know,_ said the calm voice said.

_We're practically holding hands!_ the excited one squealed.

I mentally slapped myself, but didn't let the internal struggle show. "Nice to meet you, Adam."

He nodded and flashed his heart stopping smile. "See you around."

I sat back down and took what felt like my first full breath in years.

"So…" Lily began.

"Merlin," I whispered.

"You're doomed."

**o0o0o0o**

Gryffindor's first Quidditch match of the year was against Ravenclaw. The morning of the game, Potter could be seen talking to each person on his team, giving last minute pointers and reminders. For all his confident talk the previous week about how they were going to beat Ravenclaw into the ground, he had a hard time disguising the quiver of nervousness in his voice.

Lily and I took seats next to Remus in the stands. Peter was on his other side, bundled up to his nose, which was red from the fierce autumn wind.

Remus smiled warmly. "I wasn't sure if you two would show up."

I scoffed. "Oh, please. I may not like those two dolts you call your friends, but my Gryffindor pride runs deep."

He started to say something, but then his eyes drifted to a point over my shoulder. His shock was poorly masked as he said, "Brooke!"

Sure enough, there she was, hands deep in her coat pockets. She gave us a shy smile and ducked her head. "Hi. Um… do any of you mind if I sit with you?"

Before anyone else could formulate a response, Remus was already answering. "Of course not! Scoot over, Peter."

I moved down a little bit to give her more room, sharing a look with Lily. We'd always thought that Brooke and Remus would be cute together, and now it seemed like they were beginning to bond. Excellent.

The two teams strode out onto the pitch, two lines facing each other with Madam Hooch in between. I immediately sought out Adam, who was the Ravenclaw Keeper. For a brief moment I thought that I would like for his team to win, but that thought was quickly followed by the shame of betrayal.

_What am I thinking? _I chided myself. _No, Alyssa, never start pulling for the other team! Maybe my Gryffindor pride isn't as deep as I thought…_

_Stop worrying about it, _the opposing voice in my head ordered. _It's just Quidditch; who cares if you think Ravenclaw ought to win? Even if it is only because their Keeper finally gave you the time of day._

_I guess you're right._

Lily's laughter brought me out of my thoughts.

"What?" I asked.

"What were you thinking about just now? You looked like you were arguing with yourself."

"Well, you know those voices in my head," I answered drily.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Right."

I shrugged. "What can I say? I'm insane." I was only half-joking.

Madam Hooch blew her whistle, and the two teams took to the air.

"Do you think we'll win? Ravenclaws are pretty smart in their plays," Brooke said. It took me a moment to realize that this had to have been the first time she'd been to a Quidditch game that wasn't the legendary Gryffindor-Slytherin match, the one game nobody would even think about missing.

"'Course we will," I answered. "We've got smart players, too. I'm sure they know every tactic Ravenclaw's got."

I should have kept my big mouth shut.

Hardly a second after the words were out of my mouth, everything went downhill for Gryffindor.

The Ravenclaw Chasers were making jerky moves, trying to confuse the Gryffindor Chasers. Potter passed the Quaffle to his girl Chaser, but at the last second she pulled up hard on her broomstick, as a Ravenclaw had flown mere feet in front of her. The Quaffle slipped through her reaching fingers, and a second Ravenclaw was flying below her just in time to catch it. The third was waiting a bit in front of them, ready to receive the pass and get as far away as possible. A collective groan rippled through the Gryffindor side of the stands.

Ravenclaw's tactics were usually clear-cut, graceful and precise. Subtle, at times, but efficient. However, this time they were creating organized mass chaos. It was the kind of thing you would expect from Slytherin, but the Ravenclaws were more rule-abiding.

In a move that couldn't possibly have been planned, the Ravenclaw Beater struck a Bludger that went hurtling towards the Gryffindor Keeper just in time for him to dodge and leave the hoops open. Ravenclaw scored almost effortlessly.

My jaw hung slack. Beside me, I wasn't sure if Lily was breathing. Stunned silence rang in the seats behind and in front of me.

"Brooke, I might have to take back what I said," I whispered.

"They'll pull through," Remus said confidently. "It was one bad play; James won't let that ruin them for the rest of the game. It'll be fine."

It wasn't fine.

Ravenclaw's game plan kept changing. Sometimes it was a normal clear-cut game. Other times, it was chaotic. And other times still, it was too easy for the Gryffindors, only for Ravenclaw to stop them at the last second to keep their seventy-point lead.

Not only that, but the Ravenclaw Seeker kept diving for a Snitch that wasn't there. Naturally, Gryffindor's Seeker followed, only to pull up upon realizing that she had been tricked again. Eventually, she stopped trying to follow the other Seeker's moves, but kept her eyes trained in the other's direction. So when the Snitch finally presented itself, she wasn't prepared for the Ravenclaw to be so subtle about catching it.

The game was over before anyone fully realized it. It took Madam Hooch blowing her whistle and the Ravenclaw team taking a victory lap for anyone to notice the Snitch clutched triumphantly in the Seeker's fist. It finally hit home and defeat settled in with one big _whoosh._ Every Gryffindor visibly deflated.

Our team slowly descended to the ground and stood there for a moment. The stands were strangely quiet on our side. Eventually, people trickled out and went back to the castle, though the team stood huddled together on the pitch. They didn't seem to be saying anything.

"That… couldn't have gone any worse," Remus muttered.

"I don't think we've ever lost so badly," Lily commented, shaking her head.

After a few minutes of simply standing there, the Gryffindor team retreated to the locker rooms, as silent as ever. We finally stood and made our way back to the castle, where the news of Gryffindor's defeat was already spreading like a disease.

**o0o0o0o**

It was a lazy Saturday, and with it being too cold to go outside and too crowded in the common room, Lily, Brooke, and I stayed in our room.

I was quite pleased with the progress we had made with Brooke. It was now becoming easier and easier to talk to her, and she often initiated conversations without being prompted. Sometimes, like she had today, she sat down with us in the library or at mealtimes without too much hesitation, though she always asked first. But I thought she would soon stop the habit of asking and learn that she was always welcome.

For a long time I talked with Brooke about her latest read– a romance novel by a Muggle author named Jane Austen. She spent a long time telling me about the society of the nineteenth century, and enthusiastically told me I could borrow the book when she finished. All in all, I was confident that we were slowly forming a steady friendship.

"Hey, Brooke?" Lily said when a lull in conversation presented itself.

"Yes?"

"What's been going on with the Marauders?" She sat up and pulled her knees to her chest, looking contemplative. "I've noticed recently that they seem more… tame."

I frowned, then thought back on the last month or so. Lily was right, I realized. They were pulling less pranks. The ones they did pull weren't exclusive to Slytherin, as most had in the past. They encompassed all the houses, and weren't so much rude and embarrassing as funny in spite of oneself.

Not only that, but the amount of random hexing in the hallways at the expense of younger students– particularly Slytherins, again, and above all, Snape– had almost completely ceased to exist. (I repeat, _almost_.)

I'd seen the Marauders laughing with each other in the corridors, and previously I'd assumed that they were scheming or were carrying out a scheme, but now I realized that they were simply being… boys. Just boys laughing over a joke or a silly passing comment. It was so unlike the boys I and the rest of the school population had come to recognize, I wondered for a moment if they had all hit their heads a little too hard in a prank gone wrong.

Brooke shrugged, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "I might have talked a little bit of sense into them."

I stared at her, unbelieving of the proposition. "No… No, that's not possible."

"It's not?"

"No, it's not!" I waved my arm in no particular direction. "They're not sensible, they're… rash and rude and spontaneous and they do whatever they want when the urge hits them and…" I trailed off, realizing that all those things I said were made in denial. They were changing. And shamefully, I noted that I wanted to hold on to those bitter feelings toward them… Or one of them in particular.

Brooke hesitated. "Why do you hate them so much?" she asked, looking back and forth between me and Lily.

I kept silent, and after a moment, Lily answered. "I don't _hate_ them. Remus and Peter are actually really sweet, but I wish they wouldn't follow in Potter and Black's footsteps. And those two… They are supremely annoying, but not terrible people, I'll give you that." She picked at a loose thread on her duvet. "Sometimes it's more habit than actual dislike, you know?"

Brooke nodded, then looked at me. "Alyssa?"

I sighed. "Outside of what Lily just said, it's a bit of a bigger issue with me. And really, that issue is only with Black, but I guess it just spread to the other Marauders too.

"Do you remember how, in first year, I didn't speak very much English?" Brooke nodded. "Well, that's pretty much how it all started. I'd only just moved here from Germany and was still working on conquering the language barrier. I spoke enough to get by, like in classes, but outside of class I was pretty quiet."

I took a deep breath, preparing for the harder part of the story. "So one day I was in the library, looking for some material to help with an essay. And Black walked up behind me and asked me to hand him a book I was standing in front of. But he startled me, and it took my mind a little bit longer than it normally should have to catch up.

"He looked at me like I was stupid and said, 'Are you deaf or just slow?'" I forced out the words that I would remember until the day I died. Brooke sucked in a breath through her teeth. Lily gave a derisive laugh. "And of course, he didn't know that I couldn't speak English. It wasn't exactly advertised and I can't remember a time before that when we actually spoke. So I eventually got over it, but… first impressions are lasting, you know?" I shrugged. "That's what initially fuelled all the negativity towards him. But it sort of grew over time. Every little thing he did bothered me. If he ever spoke to me, I would get defensive and rude. I wanted him to hurt like the way he hurt me. It gradually got to the point where we only insulted each other. It kind of became a game, but he never got angry; he just laughed it off. I almost wanted him to yell at me and call me names, just so I could throw it right back at him. But he never did. And it was infuriating. Still is, too."

I laughed humorlessly. "Anyway, that's the story of how I came to 'hate-slash-resent' Sirius Black."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that," Brooke said, looking at me with eyes that said they weren't empty words, but actual heartfelt understanding.

I brushed it off. "It's okay. I'm over it. But like I said before, it's not easy to get over those harsh first words."

Brooke smiled at me and Lily. "I think you two would like them if you got to know them. They're immature sometimes, yes, and they don't always think things through, but they're brave. And smart, and selfless– in spite of what you may think– and they've got their hearts in the right place. Maybe… maybe you could give them a chance?"

I shared a pained look with Lily. She made a face. "I wouldn't mind _trying_," she finally decided. "But I make no promises."

"Same here," I said. "And I'm not saying it will be immediate, either. I think I need a little time to sort out and get rid of old grudges. And in that time they need to prove themselves to be better people than they act like."

Brooke grinned widely. I thought it made her look absolutely gorgeous, making her brown eyes light up, and made it my mission to get her to do that more often. "That's all I ask," she said.

With the heavy conversation over, we suddenly realized how late it was and how hungry we were. I told Lily and Brooke to go to dinner without me and that I would catch up with them in a few minutes. I had to write a reply to Drew and tease him mercilessly about falling victim to the dreaded love disease.

It was quiet when I emerged from the dormitory, almost everyone having gone to dinner. There was only one person in the common room, and that was Black.

And he was talking to… the floor?

"James, come on," he was saying, sounding thoroughly exasperated.

I rolled my eyes and laughed under my breath as I strode toward the portrait hole. "Black, if you want to stay at this school, I suggest you make your insanity less blatantly obvious."

Then I tripped over something large and _very_ solid when I knew for a fact that the floor was clear. A loud and quite embarrassing "Eeeeep!" escaped my lips before the floor rushed up to meet my body.

I groaned, pain radiating all over. For a moment, I expected Black to burst into laughter at my misfortune, but he only sighed.

"That actually kind of hurt," came a muffled voice. _James Potter's_ voice.

No. Way.

"What in the hell–" I started.

I looked back at the piece of carpet I had tripped over. Surely I hadn't just fallen over my own two feet, right? Surely I hadn't just _not seen_ Potter's body lying out in the middle of the floor, _right_?

But there was nothing there. Nothing at all.

"James, come out here before you hurt somebody important!" Black said somewhat angrily.

"Is Lily out there?" said Potter's disembodied voice.

"No. Just Jones."

"…I'm leaving before she gets here, then."

Slowly, the last several moments of the conversation caught up in my head. Somebody important? _Just_ Jones? Oh, he knew what he was doing. He was _trying_ to piss me off. Frankly, it worked. But that he had the _audacity_ to flippantly do it while handling another matter–

"Black, you arrogant bastard!" I nearly yelled.

"Shut up, Jones," he shot back without glancing my way.

Okay. Whatever I previously said about giving him a chance was now void. It only took half an hour, but Black managed to squash every reason I had for giving him time to prove himself into nothingness.

But that train of thought could wait until a later time. I focused instead on the matter at hand. And that was–

"Why can't I see Potter?" I blurted. "I swear, Black, if this is another one of your stupid pranks…"

Black gave me a look that made me feel three inches tall. It was the look teachers gave him and Potter all the time, and being on the receiving end was hell, let me tell you.

"Yes," he said slowly, like I was a small child. "That's exactly what this is, Jones. Now run along before you become collateral damage."

I bristled, but bit my tongue. "Uh huh. Potter, what's going on?!"

A _thud_ and a muttered curse coming from the direction of the boys' staircase was my answer, followed by the distinct sound of heavy feet going upstairs.

I gaped. "Black… is Potter… is he _invisible?_"

"And I'm staying this way!" Potter's voice shouted.

"Oh my Merlin, he's invisible," I mumbled.

Black grunted in reply, then glared at me. "Now look what you've done."

He started to follow his partner in crime, and I could only stare after him in shock. _Me?!_

"But– how did he do that?!" I shouted before he turned the corner of the staircase.

Black scowled and looked at me again. "Are you stupid, Jones?" My heart fell to my feet. "Use that damn brain of yours and figure it out! God knows you think you're smarter than everyone else anyway, shouldn't be too hard."

He had gotten me countless times over the years with those careless insults he threw around and I had thought I'd built enough walls to keep him out. But I felt the sting of tears behind my eyes and knew that for the second time– though not the last– Sirius Black had broken a piece of my heart.

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><p><strong>Ahh, yes. I did rather enjoy writing this chapter. What did you guys think? Let me know in a review!<strong>

**A note about the last scene with James being invisible: the concept was a short text post and a doodle I found on tumblr/pinterest/instagram. Not quite sure which. I simply fluffed it up and adapted it to my story, so credit for the overarching concept goes to that person, whose name unfortunately escapes me.**

**Again, please review! See you next week!**

**~AMQ**


	5. A Ball, a Date, a Fright

**Hello hello! Thank God it's Friday. This week... *shakes head*. Anyway. As always, thanks to everyone who favorited/alerted/reviewed the last chapter!**

**I hope you all enjoy this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor do I own the concept of skiakyns (a creation of my best friend. But since our stories exist in the same universe, she gave me permission to include them in the latter portion of this chapter).**

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><p><span><strong>Chapter 5<strong>

"We're having a _what_?"

"A ball," Lily said simply, flopping into an armchair wearily. Her prefect's meeting had gone longer than usual. "We all thought it would be a good idea for a boost in morale. We've actually been talking about it for a couple weeks, but Professor Dumbledore only just approved it." She looked at me apologetically, as though I would be angry with her for not telling me sooner.

I shrugged. "Yeah, I think it's a good idea. So when will it be?"

Lily lowered her voice. "No one is actually supposed to know about it yet, but we're thinking a week or two before we leave for Christmas."

"But that doesn't leave us very much time for shopping, does it? It's almost November. Not to mention the younger ones who can't leave the castle on Hogsmeade weekends."

She shook her head. "No, it's only for fourth years and above. Also, we've got the Hogsmeade weekend coming up and then another before we leave. There will be plenty of time to be ready."

"Ready for what?" Brooke asked, sitting beside me.

"There's going to be a ball," I answered. She winced.

"Really?" she dragged out. "It's not… mandatory, is it?"

Lily frowned. "No, of course not. Do you really not want to go?"

Brooke shrugged. "It's just because… social gatherings are hard for me, you know?"

"It doesn't have to be any different from how it is now," I assured. "Just stay with us and those dreaded boys you call friends."

She made a face. "But this is a _bring a date _sort of thing, right?"

"It kind of is," Lily said regretfully.

Brooke blew out a huge breath, her bangs flying up as she did. "I think I'll pass then."

"No!" Lily and I cried at the same time. Brooke's eyes widened at our insistence.

"Please, Brooke, it will be so much fun!" Lily promised.

"Yeah, I mean, I'm not a big fan of fancy parties and dancing and all that," I added. "But we'll have a great time nonetheless. Don't sell yourself short; we'll find someone for you to go with." I winked at Lily, who smirked in return.

Brooke bit her lip. "I don't know…"

I grabbed her hand and widened my eyes. "Please? For me?"

She stared back, lips twitching. Finally, she relented. "I guess I can go…"

Lily and I cheered loudly, but quickly shut up when we drew the eyes of people around us.

"Great, so we'll go shopping this weekend in Hogsmeade!" Lily said, grinning.

Brooke and I stifled our groans.

"I don't like it either, but it has to be done," Lily said sternly.

"Yes, Mum," Brooke grumbled. I couldn't contain my snort. She was finally adapting.

**o0o0o0o**

With the official announcement of what was now called the Founders' Ball came an excited air that made it hard for any teacher to have a successful class the next day (all except Professor McGonagall, who ruled her classes with an iron fist).

For some reason, when the announcement came at breakfast, my first reaction was to seek out the Marauders. I was fully expecting them to start whispering to each other about who they would be taking, but instead they looked as unsurprised as Brooke and I were. Then I realized that Remus must have told them as well, and I wasn't so shocked. But what _was_ shocking was the fact that James Potter wasn't leaping to his feet and rushing to ask Lily to be his date. Instead, he was watching Black, whose eyes were scanning the Hufflepuff table.

I bit my tongue to keep myself from making a comment to Lily and Brooke about it. It wasn't by business.

After a completely unproductive class in Ancient Runes, I heard my name being called.

"Hey, Alyssa, can I talk to you?"

"I'll catch up," I told Lily, who nodded. I slowed my pace and looked back to see Adam Smith striding towards me.

"Yeah?" I said. A happy flutter settled in the place of my normal heartbeat. Was he asking me to the ball?

Adam rubbed the back of his head, looking a little timid. "I was wondering… well, do you have any plans this weekend?"

I thought for a moment. _This weekend… what's going on this w– Oh! Hogsmeade! Wait, he's asking me to Hogsmeade?_

"I'm actually going shopping with my friends," I told him regretfully.

"Oh," he said with a twinge of disappointment in his voice.

"But," I said quickly, heart beating faster. "Maybe I can meet you after?"

His face lit up. "Absolutely! What do you say to meeting me at noon in the Thee Broomsticks? You think that will give you enough time to find what you need?"

I tried to keep my smile from splitting my face in half, but it only worked a little bit. "I think so. See you Saturday?"

Adam nodded, and we parted ways.

My face was hurting from smiling so widely when I made it to the Great Hall. I took my seat between Lily and Marlene, Brooke and Alice seated across from us.

"Did something happen?" Marlene asked.

I ducked my head, heat flooding my cheeks. "I have a date this weekend."

Three of the four girls gasped, Lily already having a suspicion of what had happened.

"With who?" Alice demanded, eyes aglow.

I almost answered, but my eyes were drawn to the doors of the Great Hall, where Adam was walking in with a few of his friends. The girls followed my gaze. I could almost hear their jaws drop.

"Oh. My. Merlin. _How_?" Marlene whispered.

I shrugged. "Beats me. We haven't really spoken that much. Maybe that's why he wanted to ask me to Hogsmeade, so we could get to know each other?"

A chorus of "Maybe" answered me.

Marlene gave me a look. "Darling. A guy like _that_doesn't ask a girl out unless he _already_knows she's special." She pouted a little. "And I mean very special. Apparently I wasn't special enough for his conceited, snobby, ridiculously _fine_a-"

"Marlene!" Alice gasped, slapping Marlene in the arm.

Marlene smirked. "Just saying." She looked back to me. "He must see something that he wants."

I rolled my eyes at her, but my mind was already racing. Marlene was one of the most gorgeous girls I knew. Her blonde curls and big, hazel eyes usually sent the boys swooning. I vaguely remember her trying to catch Adam's eye in fourth year, without any success. Now, I vaguely wandered why he hadn't paid her any attention. I mean, if Marlene wasn't good enough, why on earth would he turn to me?

I sighed. I decided that I didn't even care that I didn't know _why_ Adam suddenly started paying attention to me; I was just glad that he did.

**o0o0o0o**

"Everyone, put away your books," said Professor Bishop, our Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. "Today's topic is a bit… unconventional."

Everyone exchanged confused looks, as though someone else would know what Bishop was talking about. When all shuffling ceased, Bishop nodded his approval, turned to the chalkboard, and wrote in big letters, "Skiakyn."

"Skee–ack–in?" Peter muttered.

"No, Mr. Pettigrew, the proper pronunciation is _sky-ah-kin,_" Bishop corrected kindly. "They were creatures created by Morgan le Fay as a weapon. Once human, but corrupted until they were no longer themselves."

"So, they're almost like inferi?" Lily asked.

"Almost, Miss Evans, but not quite. Skiakyns are much, much darker." Bishops eyes locked on someone in the back, and his eyebrows moved upwards. "Yes, Mr. Black?"

Black put his hand down, and I was shocked to see a look of genuine interest on his face. Since when did he care about class? "Professor, I've heard about dark creatures all my life–" _I'm sure you have. Fitting,_ I thought viciously. "–and I've never heard about skiakyns. Are they real, or just a myth? And why haven't we heard about them before now?"

"Excellent question," Bishop remarked. "Due to the several detailed accounts on skiakyns that seem to be consistent with each other, we are led to believe that they did exist at one time. However, the last known skiakyn lived over fifteen hundred years ago. We believe they died out. But I believe in teaching you about _all_ dark creatures, even if they aren't found in our usual text." His eyes twinkled as he said, "Plus, skiakyns are interesting.

"Skiakyns were originally the creation of Rowena Ravenclaw during the founder wars. They were meant to be a weapon, to know and feel what the enemy felt. They could form connections with others and know everything they experienced. But, recognizing how dangerous they were, Ravenclaw quickly did away with them. They cropped up again with Morgan le Fay, who wanted to use them in order to conquer her half-brother, King Arthur. She created them in mass amounts, and they became very difficult to defeat. Merlin was the only one capable of getting rid of them all."

Bishop paused in his pacing, smiling at the class. "And here is where it gets interesting.

"You see, skiakyns are similar to inferi, but they are not reanimated corpses. They are human, twisted by the dark magic until the human inside is nearly unreachable. Merlin saw the small parts of human left in them, took pity on them, and allowed a few to live. He didn't know that they could reproduce."

Nearly everyone in the room was enraptured by this point, a rare feat for any teacher to accomplish.

"One would think that human blood would dilute the power skiakyns possessed," Bishop continued, "but it had the opposite effect. Skiakyns became stronger as they kept reproducing, generation after generation yielding more and more powerful skiakyns. But with that power came certain disabilities in these creatures. Their connections to other people became more vivid. They received the wounds of the people they were connected to, some dying from blood loss, like some soldiers, and some dying from untreatable diseases, like those some Muggles suffer from."

I glanced over to Lily to see what she was thinking about the lecture, expecting to see that curious spark in her eye. But it wasn't there. Her brows were drawn together, and all I saw was worry. Worry for what?

"As the years passed, the skiakyn lifespan became shorter. Each generation died off sooner than the last. The burden of others' thoughts, memories, and emotions drove them mad to the point where they couldn't function normally, and they died slowly and painfully. The last skiakyn died at only seventeen years of age, never having reproduced and thus ending the line.

"Skiakyns were dark creatures indeed," Bishop concluded. "Dangerous to others, yes, but more dangerous to themselves than anything else."

The bell rang, and everyone rose from their seats.

"Read chapter eight in your books for the next class," Bishop called over the clamor.

Instead of filing out the door like everyone else, Lily made a beeline for Bishop's desk. I frowned and followed her out of curiosity.

"Professor?" she said.

Bishop looked up. "Yes, Miss Evans?"

"I was wondering if I could borrow that book about skiakyns," she asked with a winning smile, nodding her head to the surprisingly small book on Bishop's desk. "I thought they were really interesting and would like to read some more about them."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Didn't she have enough to study already?

Bishop gave her an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, Miss Evans, but I'm using it for my seventh years as well."

"Oh," Lily said dejectedly.

"Oh! Hold on," Bishop said suddenly. "I believe I remember there being another copy in the Restricted Section. I trust you two girls, so I'll sign for it."

"Thank you so much!" Lily said, her mood having turned around completely. I muttered my thanks as well, though I wasn't sure if I would be joining Lily in her endeavors.

A moment later, Lily had a slip of parchment in her hand and was dragging me to the library.

"Why do I have to come?" I whined. "I'm hungry!"

Lily didn't answer me as we nearly plowed through the doors and went straight to Madam Pince. She slid over the paper with Bishop's signature, and as soon as the librarian had walked away, she turned to me and said so lowly I strained to hear, "Because, Alyssa, this might be vital to understanding your… predicament."

"What are you talking about?"

She huffed. "Think about it. You go into these trance-like states, you get visions and entirely too vivid nightmares, and those are only the beginning of what skiakyns are. Who knows how long it takes for everything else to develop?" Her voice lowered even more, concern marring her brow. "I just want to know for sure that this– whatever it is– isn't something we need to worry even more about."

I suddenly wasn't very hungry anymore. Bishop had said that the last Skiakyn only lived to be seventeen, driven mad by everything he endured until he wasted away. Being a Skiakyn was a terrible thing to be, and if it turned out that I was one–

Madam Pince returned with the book and handed it over to Lily. She stuffed it in her bag and we left, but I only felt nauseous now.

If it did turn out that I was one of these dark creatures, I might not even live to see the next year. I could die from my own insanity.

I might not even have to worry about dying in the war, because I could be my own worst enemy.

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><p><strong>Well well well. That is quite ominous, isn't it?<strong>

**Please tell me what you think! I love to hear feedback from you guys! **

**Don't forget to follow my tumblr: (amqfanfic . tumblr . com) without the spaces. There's not much up now, but if I get more followers there I will definitely start posting stuff like dreamcast, but I don't want to start doing that until more people will see it.**

**Until next time!**

**~AMQ**

**EDIT 9/20/14: I posted this on my tumblr, but I highly doubt anyone actually reads it so it's going here too. I'm so sorry, guys, but an update this week is very unlikely. Chapter 6 is giving me a lot of grief. I just can't get it right. Normally, I would have extra chapters ready to go in case something like this happened... But this has been a problem going on for so long that I've run out of extra chapters. (Oops.) So yeah, the next chapter will be another week. And if I get done with this one in time I'll start on the next one too so that I can get my lead again, and hopefully we won't have this problem again any time soon. I'm sorry for the wait!**


	6. Dresses, Dates, and DAMMIT!

**Hello, hello! Okay, so this is dreadfully late. And I am sincerely sorry about making you all wait so long. It seemed that every time I wanted to write, I couldn't. And then more recently I had so many tests and papers to write that there simply was no way for me to take the time and write. But hopefully it won't happen again, because I have already started writing the next chapter and it will be on time. So I will probably be able to keep my chapter lead, since I've got a good bit of later chapters written.**

**Anyway, enough rambling. I hope you all enjoy this chapter! (Disclaimer: I still don't own Harry Potter. Not that I would want to.)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

I glared at the armful of dresses Lily shoved at me. "No."

Her eyes narrowed dangerously. "Alyssa Jones, I swear to Merlin, if you don't go put those on–"

"You'll what? Force them on me?"

"Don't tempt me." She pointed a finger to the back of the crowded shop, where a line was forming for a changing room. I groaned.

I really didn't want to be dress shopping right now. I would much rather be enjoying a date with Adam, but _no_, Lily insisted on dress shopping. And yeah, I had been the one to suggest shopping first, date later. But in hindsight, I should have realized that every minute I spent in a dress shop was a minute less that I spent with Adam.

"You are cruel, you know that?" I grumbled to Lily. She pulled another dress from the rack right before I walked off and added it to my pile.

"And I want to see _all_ of them!" She smiled innocently.

I stalked off to the changing rooms and got in line behind two twittering girls. I rolled my eyes. A minute later, Brooke appeared behind me, also laden with dresses.

"Lily got to you, too?" I asked, eyeing her pile.

"Yeah." She winced at the pink dress on top. "I told her I didn't want pink, but she wouldn't take no for an answer."

"She's just trying to look for what styles look best," I told her. "Once she figures out the style, she looks for the colors." I shrugged. "I've been on many a forced shopping trip with her; I daresay I've figured her out by now."

The line moved up little by little as each girl decided on a dress and moved to pay. Brooke and I had a good laugh when we saw Alice and Marlene arguing a little bit away.

"Hear me out," Alice wheedled, sounding desperate. "Don't you want to wear a nice, classy dress and look like a nice, classy lady to attract nice, classy men?"

Marlene held up a dress to her body and studied it. Once she put it on, it would show a long strip of skin from the slit on the skirt, and the neckline would dip low, almost too low. She contemplated it for a moment, tilting her head to the side. "No, I kind of want to look like a slut," she said casually.

"Oh," said Alice. She blinked. "Um. Okay, then."

I laughed as the line moved forward. Lily had joined us by this point, and she nearly shoved me forward when the next stall opened up and a girl left with her chosen dress. I stumbled but righted myself just in time to keep from falling on my face. Tossing a glare her way, I locked myself in the stall and resigned myself to at least the next half hour of modeling dresses for my best friend.

The first dress wouldn't even zip up, and it was in my usual size. I sucked in a huge breath and tried to zip it again, but it hardly moved an inch. I exhaled heavily and felt the fabric tighten around my waist. What a confidence booster.

The second one would have looked better on Alice. Yellow simply was not my color, and this one looked like a daffodil. I showed Lily only because she would kill me if I didn't, and it took less than a full second for her to reject it and send me back for the next one.

So the cycle went. I tried on dress after dress and showed them to Lily, who quickly found her dress and was done before Brooke and I had even made a dent in our selections. Some of them were pretty decent, but most of them were the kind I didn't ever want to be seen in.

I stepped out in my last dress and sighed, rotating for Lily. "I don't like the color," I told her. How many times did I have to say that yellow made me look like a rotting squash?

"No, but I like the design," she muttered, turning me around again. Her gaze moved up and down critically.

Brooke stepped out and Lily did the same for her. Then she got a crazy glint in her eye and said, "Be right back!"

She disappeared, leaving Brooke and I staring after her.

Across from us, a girl poked her head from behind the curtain. "Sirius?" she called timidly.

My shoulders immediately tensed. What was Black doing here?! With a girl?! I mean, yeah, there were a few boys here with their dates, but _Black?!_

The devil himself strode around the corner from the men's side of the shop, which was really just a small corner in comparison to the rest of the space dedicated to women's clothing. He had an easy smile on his face, and I half expected him to make eye contact with me and insult me as he always did. But he didn't. Was it even him? Or had someone used a polyjuice potion to get a date with this girl?

Usually I'm not one to eavesdrop, but I was too stunned to tear my eyes away.

"What do you think?" The girl stepped out fully. The dress fit her nicely, and the pale green was stunning on her.

Black seemed to think so too. "You look great, Cassie." There wasn't even a hint of sarcasm in his tone– it was, in fact, a tone I often heard my parents speaking in with each other, gentle and sweet– which nearly cemented my thought that someone was impersonating him. I mean, come on, Sirius Black didn't have a heart. There was no way he could make himself sound so… soft.

Cassie fidgeted, looking in the mirror on the wall. "Are you sure? I don't know, maybe I should keep looking–"

"Hey," Black interrupted, laughing and taking her hand. "You're beautiful. You trust me, right?"

Cassie's cheeks took on a pink tinge. "Yeah…"

I tried to drown out the rest of their conversation. Now thoroughly uncomfortable, I looked at Brooke, who was picking at the nail polish Marlene had forced on her the other night.

"Brooke," I whispered. She looked up and I subtly nodded my head in Black and Cassie's direction. "When did that happen?"

She followed my gaze, failing to hide her grin. "They're not 'official' yet, but I think they will be soon. He's had a thing for Cassie since last year, and I'm pretty sure she has too."

I nodded. I'd seen her around, but I'd never seen the two of them together and I never would have guessed that they had a _thing_. The way he looked at her…

It was like he was seeing the only person in the room.

I had to wonder if anyone had ever looked at me like that, and if they eve would.

Lily returned then, cutting off my train of thought. She shoved a dress at each of us and sent us back to change.

This dress was by far my favorite of the lot. It was a deep, royal blue with silver embellishments on the shoulder and at the waist, looking like a sort of belt. A sheer piece of fabric covered the bodice and neckline, crossing over my shoulder and held in place by the silver accents, billowing out behind me and almost reaching the hemline.

I finally stepped out from behind the curtain. Lily beamed and had me spin around for her. "Oh, that's perfect!" she breathed. I grinned, finally pleased.

Lily's eyes slid over to a point next to my shoulder, and an awed look took over her face. I turned and my jaw fell slack.

There couldn't have been a more perfect fit for Brooke. It was a lacy, champagne colored dress that covered her shoulders. At Lily's insistence, she turned around and showed us the back, a good portion of which was open while still covering enough to be modest. The hem of the dress trailed behind her in a short train.

Lily pushed us both toward the larger mirrors situated on the wall and positioned us next to each other. I took a long look at our reflection, and dare I say it, we looked beautiful.

"Well," said Lily. "I think we're ready."

With that, she sent us back to change into our normal clothes, and when we came out she took the dress from my arms and told me. "Since you behaved, you can leave early."

I immediately straightened. "Really?"

She rolled her eyes. "Yes. Now get out of here before I change my mind.

I handed over a small sack of money and called over my shoulder, "You're the best, Lils!" as I hurried out.

But in spite of my haste to leave the dreaded store, I forced myself to slow down when I got outside. I didn't want to look worn out, breathless, and entirely too eager when I met Adam, did I?

He was propped up against the outside wall of the Three Broomsticks when I arrived. He saw me first, and a smile spread across his face. "Alyssa! Hey!"

I smiled back. "Hi, Adam."

"Hi," he repeated, then realizing what he'd done, blushed. I bit my lip to keep my laughter at bay. "So, um… are you ready?"

I nodded, and instead of going in the Three Broomsticks like I'd thought, Adam led me down the street at a slow pace.

"I figured we could come back here last, to warm up," he explained, then nodded in the direction of a quill shop. "Mind if we pop in here and look around?"

And that's basically how our date went. We went in nearly every shop on the street, making sure to go on a obligatory Honeydukes run, and the entire time Adam was asking me questions. What was my family like? What were my favorite classes? What did I want to do after graduating? They were all the normal questions one usually asks on the first date… or at least that's what I assumed, as I'd never been on a real date before.

We reached the end of the street and kept walking. Adam led me up a hill, where we were met with a wire fence. Beyond it, a tumbledown cottage stood in the middle of a blank expanse of land.

Adam nodded his head toward the cottage. "Have you heard of this place?"

"It's the Shrieking Shack, isn't it?" I'd heard of it from many people, but I'd never come up here. Sightseeing wasn't really on my to-do list on Hogsmeade weekends, so I'd steered clear.

He propped his arms up against one of the rotten wood posts. "Yeah. People say it's haunted, but I don't think so."

I raised an eyebrow. That was new. "Why not?"

"Well, I snuck out of the castle last year with some friends," he said, flashing a grin. "They wanted to see if it was really haunted, so I tagged along. But they chickened out when they heard the screaming…"

"So it's really haunted?" I asked.

He shook his head. "No, I don't think so. The scream… it was human, but… not at the same time. I don't know how to explain it, but it wasn't a ghost. It was so _alive_, so… pained."

A chill settled in my bones, tingles rippling under my skin. The Shrieking Shack seemed to hold so much more mystery now, but even that didn't make me want to try going inside. Of all things, it seemed like a safe haven, not a place of fear. But it was a place I didn't belong, so I would keep my distance.

"Well," Adam began somewhat awkwardly. "Shall we head back?"

I tore my eyes away from the shack and tried to smile. "Yeah." I nudged his shoulder. "But this time, it's _your_ turn to tell me about yourself."

**o0o0o0o**

"Tell us _everything_!" Marlene squealed, dragging me into the dormitory that evening.

I rolled my eyes and sat down on the end of my bed. "I don't think you'll be too impressed. We didn't do much other than talk."

Marlene visibly deflated. "Talk? What kind of a date is that? You didn't even get one kiss?"

"No!" My face heated up.

"It was only the first date, Marlene!" Alice chided.

She pouted. "What a waste."

Alice smacked her on the shoulder, eliciting a pained yelp from Marlene, and said, "Don't listen to her. I think it's great that you're taking things slow."

"It's not like you're officially a couple, either," Lily added. "But really, what happened?"

I sighed and flopped back onto my pillows. "Nothing. We went in a few shops, walked up and down the street, went back to the Three Broomsticks and talked some more over butterbeer. Outside of that, _nothing._"

It wasn't that I was disappointed with how it turned out; I actually had a pretty good time. Not that I would ever tell her this, but I was kind of hoping for something along the lines of what Marlene was picturing: a kiss. I would have even settled for holding hands, but… I didn't even get _that._

I told myself it was too soon for that. _Far_ too soon. I wasn't going to rush into a relationship. Not now, not ever.

Right?

**o0o0o0o**

Brooke leaned across the table in the library the following Monday. She lowered her voice and said with a tiny bit of nervousness, "Can I ask you something, Alyssa?"

I looked up from my Charms textbook and scrunched my eyebrows together. "Sure. Is everything all right?"

She began to nod, but stopped herself and shrugged instead. "Maybe. It's… it's about the ball." She paused and chewed on her lower lip. "I need a date, don't I?"

"Lily and I don't have dates," I pointed out.

Brooke rolled her eyes. "Not yet, you don't. You're obviously going with Adam, even if he hasn't asked you yet. Someone will inevitably ask Lily in the next couple weeks."

She was right. I couldn't even pretend that she was wrong, and I briefly allowed a giddy rush of excitement take over at the prospect of Adam asking me to the ball.

"So anyway," Brooke continued, and I pulled my focus back to the matter at hand. "There's… there's this boy I'm thinking about asking to the ball."

I sat up a little straighter, excited even as she blushed all the way down to her neck. I followed her gaze when her eyes drifted over to a point over my shoulder, and I saw Remus sitting at a table alone with a huge stack of books in front of him, writing rapidly on a scroll of parchment. A grin spread across my face so widely that it was already beginning to hurt my cheeks.

"Really, now?" I whispered, turning back around. "And… you don't want him to ask _you_ instead? You know, drop a few hints here and there?"

She shook her head with a light laugh. "No, I don't think he'd get it, to be honest."

I laughed along with her. It was true; Remus was brilliant, but sometimes he didn't notice the fine details.

"So what do you think I should do?" Brooke asked, a crease of worry erasing her smile.

I tapped my quill on the table. "Well, I can't say I have experience being the instigator in this type of situation, but…" I shrugged my shoulders. "I would say, just take a chance. Ask him. I don't think he'll say no."

Brooke seemed to have a huge weight taken off her shoulders. "Really?"

"Really." I nudged her arm. "Go on."

She stood up shakily, but I had to give her credit for lifting her chin and not hesitating to walk to Remus's table.

Except she didn't go to Remus's table. No, she went slightly to the left of that area, leaving me totally confused as to what she was doing. But then I saw the two boys standing in that very aisle where Brooke was and my heart sank. She hadn't been talking about Remus at all.

Brooke tapped on the taller boy's shoulder. He turned around, and I felt every drop of blood drain from my face.

Oh no. No, not him! Merlin, of _all_ the boys in Hogwarts, why did it have to be–

"Sorry I'm late," Lily said breathlessly, sliding into the seat across from me and effectively blocking my view. My eyes met hers and she frowned. "Are you okay?"

"Lily," I whispered. "I think…"

"What?" she asked, leaning in.

"I think I just told Brooke to ask Regulus Black to the ball."

"_You did what?!"_

I didn't stay long enough to explain. I jumped out of my seat so suddenly that my chair slid back a few feet with a loud screech. _This is not happening, this is not happening, _I repeated to myself as I hurried over to Brooke. Or, at least, the aisle right next to her.

So focused was I on trying to hear what was going on that I wasn't paying attention to where I was _walking_. I ran smack into a solid mass, an apology already on my lips. But a hand flew out and clamped itself over my mouth, the other hand gripping my shoulder to keep me in place. I looked up and Sirius Black was there, looking more grave than I'd ever seen him. He nodded his head to the bookcase separating our aisle and the one Brooke and Regulus stood in.

"…did you just ask me?" That was Regulus's voice. Another voice, the one belonging to Regulus's companion, snickered. _Oh no._

Brooke didn't answer right away, and when she did it was in such a soft and frail voice that I couldn't hear every word, but got the idea of it. "I-I… ball… with m-me?"

Regulus did the worst thing he ever could have done: he laughed. Like she was joking. I flinched, and the hand that gripped my shoulder squeezed a little tighter. The frown on the other Black's face deepened. Regulus's laugh wasn't necessarily loud, but I felt it resonate around me. It was a cold, lifeless sound that sent chills up my arms.

"What would possibly give you the idea that I would go to the bloody ball with _you_, Mudblood?" He was chuckling again, but it died away. The silence that fell was worse than his laugh had been. His voice had gotten much lower when he spoke again. "One day, your sort won't even be able to walk next to wizards like me. Why?" Another long pause. "Because you, Mudblood, are nothing. Just another pest to be exterminated."

I heard the sound of heavy feet walking away, but only one pair. Brooke, who I'd come to notice was light on her feet, stayed put. I tore myself away from Black's grip and rushed over to the next aisle. Brooke stood stock still, arms crossed protectively over her chest and looking like she was trying not to cry.

I strode over and pulled her into a hug. "Oh, Brooke, I'm so sorry. I didn't know you meant… I shouldn't have–"

"It's not your fault," she sniffled. "I should have known better. I–" A choked sob cut off her words.

A familiar hand fell on Brooke's shoulder. "It'll be all right," said Black. I didn't even know he'd followed me. "I promise, Brooke, it's going to be okay."

With that, he strode out of the library with an expression that said he was on a mission, leaving me to comfort my heartbroken friend.

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><p><strong>Please leave a review and tell me what you think! :)<strong>

**~AMQ**


	7. Totally Fine (Kind Of)

**Ugh. I'm so glad this chapter is done. It just means that it's another chapter closer to my favorite chapters at this point in the story. :) **

**So yeah, this is late. I know. Problems came up. I apologize profusely. ****But I hope you all enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: as always, I don't own the HP universe. It is just my sandbox to play in.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 7<strong>

I woke up with a gasp and shot up in bed. My heart raced and my mind was still reeling with panic.

I threw off the covers and bolted to the bathroom, the door closing behind me more loudly than I normally would have liked, but that wasn't my main concern. Nausea churned in my stomach. I gripped the edge of the sink and tried not to heave.

It had been the same dream, the one that had haunted me for over a year. The dream of the day Lily lost Ian and all I could do was stand and watch.

But this time… I could feel his pain.

Well, not really. I saw everything through _his_ eyes, and I _thought_ I could feel his pain. It was the kind of dream where you feel some kind of pain, but when you wake up you realize it was all in your imagination, and that you were never hurt at all.

Even in my imagination, the pain was excruciating.

The dreams had come back with a vengeance in the last couple weeks, ever since that lesson Bishop gave us on skiakyns. It was like the paranoia had seized my mind even in sleep. But this was the first time I'd seen it a different way, and felt their pain, in a way.

I couldn't imagine it getting any worse, but if it turned out that I was a skiakyn like Lily feared… there would be even more hell to come.

I splashed cold water on my face and took a glance at the mirror. The candlelight reflected off the water droplets on my face, giving my skin a sort of glow, but even then I looked pale and drawn. The paleness accentuated my bloodshot eyes and the dark circles underneath.

Finally having calmed myself down (at least enough that I could think clearly), I tiptoed out of the bathroom and back to my bed. But there was no way I would be going back to sleep, not after that nightmare. So I grabbed my journal and a quill and made my way down to the common room.

I sat down on the couch by the dwindling fire and flicked through the pages of the journal. I'm not usually the type to keep a diary, but since beginning her research on skiakyns, Lily had suggested keeping a dream journal to compare each dream and notice any prominent details. So far, there hadn't been anything out of the ordinary or anything to suggest that it was more than a simple nightmare. Except for tonight.

It felt like ages that I sat there and wrote, describing every smell, touch, and sound. Even recalling the details had my heart thundering. It wasn't something that I wanted to relive, but I had to know if this problem was what we thought, and Lily seemed to think this would help.

My hand was cramping by the time I stopped. I blinked, lines moving across my vision. The common room was almost completely dark.

I heard the creak of the Fat Lady's portrait swinging open, and the shuffling of limbs crawling through the hole. I frowned. Who would be up and about at this hour? Other than me, of course.

Because of the deep shadows, I couldn't see the person who entered as well as they could see me. "Alyssa?" they said.

I recognized that voice. "Remus?"

He walked into the light, the dim firelight illuminating the scars marring his face. "Are you all right?"

I closed the journal and hugged it to my chest. "I'm fine."

Remus drew closer and sat next to me. He studied me for a moment, and I couldn't meet his eyes. He'd always had an innate ability to make people feel like he knew _everything._ It was like he could see right through me.

"You know, I'm not quite sure what it is about you and Brooke," he began. "You're so similar, and so different at the same time."

"What do you mean?"

"You both seem to think that you need to lie to everyone so that they think you're okay… when you're not."

I narrowed my eyes at him, but jumped at the chance to move the attention away from me. "What's wrong with Brooke?"

But Remus wasn't falling for it. "She's fine," he said, mimicking my earlier tone. He sighed heavily. "Good night, Alyssa." He walked all the way to the stairs before he turned to face me. "That thing that's bothering you? You should at least talk to Lily about it." Then he was gone.

And as irritating as it was, I knew he was right.

**o0o0o0o**

By the next morning, I had decided against talking to Lily. I'd had plenty of time to mull it over since sleep had not come readily to my adrenaline pumped body. I shouldn't tell her.

But with everything going on, maybe she should know.

But was it worth drudging up the pain of the past?

But I needed her help figuring this out.

But she didn't need to hear about Ian anymore.

But-

"ALYSSA NOELLE JONES!" At the sound of my shouted name, I jumped so violently I dropped the cup I was holding. Pumpkin juice splattered all over my chest and– assuming by her squeal of displeasure– on Marlene's sleeve. Lily was glaring at me from the other side of the table, obviously the one who had yelled.

"What, Lily?" I asked in frustration.

"Are you going to tell me or not? Because I swear you're turning blue holding it in." Her green eyes flashed, showing her irritation with my clear evasiveness.

I glanced sideways at Marlene and Alice, seated beside us. What I had to say, if I was even going to say it, was not for them to hear. Marlene looked up from cleaning her sleeve and gasped.

"Did Adam ask you to the ball?" she asked excitedly.

I blinked. "Uh, no, I-"

"But he will, won't he?" she gushed.

"Uh-I-maybe-I-" Marlene's hand crashed over my mouth.

"Shh!" she commanded, still bubbling. "He's coming!"

Sure enough, Adam was heading our way from the Ravenclaw table. His eyes locked on mine, and I barely had time to blush before he was next to me.

"Alyssa, could I talk to you?" he asked. _God, his voice is sexy._

"Uh, yeah, sure, is something wrong?" I babbled.

He shook his head. "No." He took my hand and led me out of the hall. I could feel Marlene's eyes on me the whole way.

"Where are we going?" I asked as we walked further away.

"You don't exactly strike me as a romantic, am I right?" he asked, glancing over.

"Definitely not." I rolled my eyes as I nearly ran to keep up with is long strides. We were still holding hands and he was practically dragging me behind him.

"Excellent." He sounded breathless as well– from excitement?

My stomach was tightening in nervousness and anticipation. After another turn of the corner, I realized where we were headed and that anticipation turned to dread.

The Owlery.

_Oh God, no_.

I hated that place. Owls hated me. They enjoyed attacking me. I avoided it at all cost, but with Adam pulling me in, I had no time to protest. The smell of feathers immediately hit me, and I clenched my jaw.

"So, since you're not a romantic…" Adam let go of my hand and walked to the other side. He reached his hand into a nest and pulled it out with an owl perched on it. "I thought I'd keep it simple."

The owl flew off his arm–

And straight into my face. I screamed in horror. Both wings slapped me in the face as its claws dug into my shoulder. I screwed my eyes shut and put my arms up in front of my face. The owl screeched as a pair of hands pulled it away, and those hands suddenly pushed me out the door. I heard the heavy wooden door slam shut behind me.

"Alyssa!" Adam held my face in his hands. I cautiously opened my eyes.

"Owls– don't– no– owls– bad," I stammered.

Adam looked a little pale. "You're afraid of owls?" I was blushing from embarrassment and panic.

Damn it.

I couldn't look him in the eye.

"They have a tendency to… attack me," I mumbled.

Adam moved his hands down to hold mine. Were his hands shaking? Or was that tremor coming from my own hands? "Well, that did not go as planned... and it may change your answer... but I was going to have Jensen ask you something for me."

He was pressed a piece of paper into my hand. I tore my eyes away from his and unfolded the slip.

_Will you go to the ball with me?_

When I looked up, Adam was red from the roots of his hair down to his neck. "Uh, that's from me, not the bird," he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. "So… what do you say?"

And in spite of it all, I laughed. Looking back on it later, it was a really embarrassing moment, but I couldn't help it. I laughed harder than I'd laughed in a long time, and it felt good. Given everything that had happened in the last couple days, and especially this morning, I somehow found it in myself to laugh at my own expense. I had pumpkin juice on my clothes, feathers in my hair, and I was obviously exhausted, but still Adam wanted to ask me to the ball.

He was staring at me strangely. "Um… Is that a… no?"

I gasped for air, my eyes watering. "No– no, that's not it at all!" I giggled again and but my lip. "I'm sorry– I'm sorry."

"So, uh…"

"Yes," I answered quickly, still grinning. "Yes, I'll go to the ball with you."

Then he grinned. He pulled a feather out of my hair, and we both laughed.

As we walked away, I guessed that it was time to tell Marlene the news.

I had a date.

* * *

><p><strong>Yessssssss. Excellent. (That wasn't ominous at all. Completely unintentional, by the way.)<strong>

**ANNOUNCEMENT: Updates will now be moved to Tuesdays! This allows me to have the entire weekend to work on the last stages of a chapter and most of Monday afternoon to do the same. It just works out better. So I will post again a week from today! :)**

**~AMQ**


	8. Mass Chaos

**Hello, my wonderful readers! I can't even begin to tell you how frustrating it's been with this chapter. It's been done for a while, but the internet has not been in agreement with me and my editor. But here it is (finally)! I really hope you all enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 8<strong>

The Saturday before the ball, Brooke stormed into our room and slammed the door behind her. I jumped at the noise, definitely not expecting it from Brooke of all people. She was always so calm, quiet, and level headed. But now, she was breathing heavily, mouth turned downwards in a frown, and a spark in her eyes that promised hell to anyone who dared cross her.

"Um…Brooke?" I tentatively said.

She whirled around and stared for a moment, obviously having been unaware that she wasn't alone.

"You okay?" I continued.

"I'm fine," she answered.

I remembered Remus's mocking tone._ "She's fine." _

Yeah. All right.

"You sure about that?" I challenged.

Her face fell the slightest bit. She crossed her arms over her chest protectively and sat on her bed. "Remus is angry with me."

"I heard about that." Well, at least that's what I had assumed. "What happened?"

Brooke swallowed thickly and shook her head. "I don't want to talk about it."

I studied her face, saw the pain in her eyes and how close to tears she was, so I let it go. "Okay."

She nodded, then got up and locked herself in the bathroom. I hoped that this wasn't anything she and Remus couldn't work through.

**o0o0o0o**

The night of the ball was pure, unadulterated chaos.

All five of us girls were running around trying to get ready, bumping into each other and doing our best not to drop whatever we were holding and making a mess of everything.

I had just finished Lily's makeup with a swipe of mascara when I was suddenly yanked backwards and forced into a chair. I yelped as Marlene, with a fierce look in her eye, wordlessly got to work on my hair.

"What are you doing?!" I cried, wincing as she dragged a brush through my mass of curls.

"What do you think?" she retorted. "Helping you."

"I don't need help, Marlene."

She scoffed. "Oh, please. Just what were you planning on doing with your hair, then?"

I started to speak, but stopped short when I realized that I really didn't have a plan for that. I hadn't even begun to think about it. Though in the end, I probably would have ended up pulling the top portion of my hair into a ponytail and sticking a sparkly clip I'd borrowed from Lily through it.

"That's what I thought," said Marlene, taking my silence as her answer. "I bet you would have ended up pulling it back with Lily's silver clip."

Curse her for being right!

So I sulked as Marlene tugged and pulled at my hair. A couple times I gasped at the pain and tears– actual tears!– sprang to my eyes. _Ugh, this is torture._

I looked around the room. Lily was smoothing out the wrinkles in her strapless purple dress, her hair curled (courtesy of yours truly) and hanging over her shoulder. Alice was frantically searching her trunk for a pair of heels. Brooke was nowhere to be found, but I heard the shower in the bathroom running and knew it would only be a matter of time before she joined the chaos.

Marlene yanked on my hair again, eliciting another yelp and a round of cursing on my part. She began twisting and braiding strands of hair, jabbing pins into my head when and wherever she deemed necessary. I grumbled and Lily merely laughed from the other side of the room.

Brooke came out of the bathroom, wrapped in a towel and hair plastered to her skin. She bit her lip and stared almost fearfully at the dress laid out on her bed.

"What's wrong, Brooke?" Alice asked, emerging from her trunk with shoes in hand.

Brooke opened and closed her mouth several times before answering. I raised an eyebrow at her when her eyes met mine in the mirror. Finally she shook her head. "I don't think I can do this," she said. "Maybe I just won't go–"

"WHAT!" Lily and Alice both screeched. Shocked, both at Brooke's bold statement and the two banshees in the room, Marlene tugged too forcefully on my hair.

"Bloody freaking _OW!_" I cried, eyes stinging.

Marlene ignored my pain. "But– but weren't you supposed to go with Remus?"

My mind immediately went to the day Remus asked Brooke to the ball, before their fight. There were flowers and candles, which in most cases I found to be cheesy, but somehow Remus had pulled it off and it was actually pretty sweet. Of course, I didn't actually see it… More like I'd pulled the details out of Brooke later with only a little pain.

Brooke winced and averted her eyes. "I was… but after that argument we had last week…"

"Wait, back up and hold it there," Alice said, waving her arms around wildly. "You two _fought_? But– but you two are the perfect couple! It's not possible for you to get into a fight!"

"That's not exactly logical, Alice. Everyone argues now and then," Lily pointed out.

"We are _not_ a couple!" Brooke protested, her cheeks flushing.

I rolled my eyes, shoved Marlene's still-working hands away, and turned around to pin Brooke with a hard glare. "First of all, that's not the point. Second: Alice–" I looked at her next. "–yes, they argued. No, we don't know why or what said argument entailed, as our dear Miss Moore has kept sufficiently silent about the matter. Third, you–" I turned back to glare at Brooke. She visibly shrank under my stare, but I didn't back down. "–are going to that ball whether you like it or not. I'll be damned if I let you hole up in here and avoid having a good time with a wonderful guy just because you're _scared_."

Brooke drew herself up with all the dignity she could muster while dripping wet and covered only by a towel. Her mouth pressed into a firm line and she was obviously trying to keep her cool. "I– I. Am. Not. Scared."

"Prove it," I shot back.

Okay, maybe it was an immature move. But I prided myself in knowing how she ticked now, knowing how to get under her skin and, with the right amount of prodding, getting her to bend to my will.

Brooke let out what sounded like a growl and took her dress to the bathroom, letting the door shut loudly behind her.

I smirked as I turned back around in my sit to allow Marlene to keep working. For another moment or two, the girls remained silent, as they had been during my banter with Brooke.

"Well." Lily broke the silence first. She gave me an exasperated look. "Congratulations. You managed to piss her off."

"That was the entire point," I remarked. "She may not seem like it all the time, but Brooke is just like us. If you insult her pride, she will go out of her way just to prove you wrong."

Marlene tugged at my hair again, getting back to work with a vengeance. "You're a terrible person."

"I know." I smirked, then yelped when she stuck another pin into my hair, scraping my scalp. I grumbled my irritation, but kept still as Marlene continued to torture me.

**o0o0o0o**

The entrance hall was a crowded mass of colors by the time we made it down. Our dates were waiting for us, which I both appreciated and hated at the same time. It gave me some time to calm my nerves before seeing Adam, but at the same time, the longer I walked the more my hands seemed to sweat. I had to resist the urge to run my palms down my dress as I walked down the corridor, so instead I just kept rubbing them together.

Brooke seemed to be having the same dilemma. She wrung her hands together and kept glancing back over her shoulder, as though wondering how far she could get before someone chased her and tackled her to the ground in order to keep her from hiding away in the dormitory.

I nervously reached up to touch my hair, so meticulously twisted into an updo, but Marlene slapped my hands away.

"If you mess it up," she growled, "I will _end you._"

"I was just checking–"

"Alyssa, I used and entire package of pins and more hairspray than should normally be allowed. Your hair isn't going anywhere. Unless you touch it, in which case you are digging your own grave, so stop it!"

I grumbled, but the scowl was wiped off my face when the staircase came into sight. A multitude of voices echoed in the large entryway, and the hall was already at the point of knocking elbows with everyone around you. As we walked, I kept glancing all over the hall looking for Adam. My heart thudded when I didn't see him the first time.

_Stay calm,_ I told myself. _It's crowded, and it's totally possible that you just didn't see him at first._

_He stood me up! _the irrational part of my mind wailed.

_No, he didn't. Shut up._

I realized that while I had been internally panicking, my friends had dispersed. I now stood alone at the base of the stairs, still scanning the crowd for my date.

"Good evening, my lady."

I jumped at the voice and whirled around. Adam stood there, trying to hold back his laughter and failing. I rolled my eyes but grinned anyway.

"Trying to be classy, are we?" I said.

He shrugged. "It never hurts to try." He drew closer and we locked eyes, a smile still touching his lips when he said, "You look beautiful."

I felt heat rushing to my cheeks, but I refused to drop his gaze. I cleared my throat and said, with only a slight waver, "You don't look too shabby yourself."

An awkward silence fell over us, and we stood there for a moment with nothing left to say. But thankfully, the silence didn't last long. The doors to the Great Hall soon opened, and the crowd moved forward.

Adam held out his arm to me. "Shall we?"

I nodded and placed my hand in the crook of his arm, thankful for something to do.

As we slowly moved inside the Great Hall, I skimmed the crowd again, looking for my friends. I spotted Marlene with her date, a Hufflepuff boy I didn't know. There was Alice with Frank Longbottom, both wearing ear-to-ear grins. I couldn't see Lily anywhere, but I wasn't really concerned about her. No, I wanted to know if Brooke had swallowed her pride and found Remus.

Finally, I saw her. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders when I realized that Remus was with her, and they were both smiling genuinely. Brooke suddenly blushed at something Remus said, but she maintained her grin.

My focus was brought back to my date when Adam pulled out a seat for me, and I realized that he had been leading me toward a table the entire time. Slowly, other couples joined us, and Adam seemed to know them all. He chatted and laughed with them while I sat there in silence, and for a few minutes I was worried that this would be how the entire night would go.

"Are these seats taken?" a new voice asked.

I looked over and to my complete and utter relief, it was Lily and her date, another Ravenclaw boy named Thomas… who, apparently, was _also_ friends with Adam.

"All yours, mate," said Adam to the new arrivals.

Lily sat next to me, and we shared a look that conveyed out relief to be together in this one.

So we ate, talked, and occasionally the kind-of-stuffy Ravenclaw boys got a few laughs out of us. And then came the dancing.

As soon as the first song struck up, chairs screeched against the floor of the Great hall and everyone moved toward the dance floor. Adam held out his hand with a charming smile. "May I have this dance?"

I smiled back and took it. "You may."

As it turned out, Adam was a surprisingly good dancer. I, however, was not. I fumbled with my footsteps a few times and embarrassed myself, but bless him, Adam took it in stride and coached me through the steps. Every now and then he would whisper to me, "All right, now I'm going to twirl you around. Ready? Good. Step back, side, and back out…"

And so it went on. Even including my screw ups, I had an amazing time. When he wasn't telling me what steps to take next, Adam talked and joked with me.

By the time the fast-paced music began, it was well into the night. We were both exhausted, so Adam gestured to the doors. "Want to step out and get some fresh air?"

I nodded, and he took my hand and led me outside. For a few minutes the cold December air was refreshing, a pleasant change from the stifling heat of the Great Hall.

"Are you enjoying yourself?" Adam asked as we walked.

"I am," I assured him, then hung my head and laughed. "Sorry for stepping on your foot all night."

Adam laughed as well. "Don't worry about it. If it means I get to dance with you, you can step on my feet all you like."

I bit my lip and could feel my face heating up. A gust of wind suddenly blew through the grounds, and I shivered at the cold.

"Here." Adam made quick work of taking off his jacket and draped it over my shoulders.

"Thanks." I looked up and his face was a lot closer than I had initially believed. My breath hitched.

Adam's hands hadn't left my shoulders, but now one hand moved up to tuck a stray curl behind my ear. I held my breath as he came closer, ever closer, and my eyes fluttered closed as he closed the gap between us…

…

Kissing is weird.

It was weird and nothing like everyone said it was. It was just… flesh touching flesh. I wasn't sure if I liked it or not.

When Adam pulled away, he was smiling. I didn't want him to think that I _didn't_ like it, so I smiled back.

He took my hand again, so I gripped it tighter than before. Suddenly everything about me felt awkward. Did he notice my hands were sweating? Should I be saying something? Was the silence comfortable or cold? I wasn't looking at him; was I supposed to be? What was I supposed to say?

He led me back to the entrance hall. Now the silence had been going on for far too long.

I decided to speak. "Adam–"

Unfortunately, he'd had the same idea. "You–"

We both stopped and smiled. "You first," I insisted, since I still had no idea what I was going to say.

"I just wanted to remind you that you look beautiful tonight." Was I blushing again? "And I wanted to ask you–"

He was cut off by the reverberating sound of a slap.

I whirled around, and there by the staircase was Lily, valiantly trying to hold back tears. Her jaw was clenched, chin held high, and hand still raised as though she would slap him again. But it wasn't Thomas that she had slapped. It was Snape. He raised his fingers to touch the quickly reddening mark on his cheek.

Lily spat something to him that I couldn't hear and fled up the staircase.

"Damn it," I hissed. I turned to Adam. "I have to go. I'm sorry." His eyes were full of understanding, but I didn't wait for him to respond. I ran toward to stairs, hoping Lily hadn't gone too far. I just barely caught the sight of the hem of her purple gown disappearing into one of the girls' bathrooms.

"Lily!" I pushed the door open and saw her hunched over the sink, crying as hard as she had back in October. She was clutching her arms, desperately hugging herself as though she might fall apart. I swallowed before I spoke, trying to keep my anger from bubbling over.

"Lils?" I couldn't even tell if she had heard me. "Lily, what did he say?" I pushed her tangled curls over her shoulder and put my arms around her. She buried her face into my shoulder, and I felt the spot quickly becoming wet with her tears.

She took a few minutes to pull herself together to respond. When she did, she looked up and I saw that her makeup had smeared, eyes red. I grabbed a towel and began wiping away the mess while she spoke.

"He–he said–" Lily swallowed thickly. "–he told me that Thomas looks a lot like Ian. He said that… obviously I have a 'type.'"

I sucked in a breath through my teeth, pausing and putting the towel down. "Bastard."

She took a shuddering breath in. "Right?"

"So what did you say? I mean, other than the clear message your palm left on his face," I let out a laugh to lighten the mood.

She smiled weakly at me. "Using a few expletives, I told him exactly where his arse could spend eternity."

My eyebrows went up. "Well done, Lils, I'm impressed! I was going to offer to kill him for you, but you seem to have things under control."

Lily rolled her eyes, still sniffling. "Oh yes, you see how well I am handling myself."

I turned my head, putting on a contemplative look as I studied her face. "You know, I think the puffy eyes look might be coming back in."

Lily laughed, stronger this time. "Tell me." She reached for another towel to wipe her face. "How were you planning on killing Severus if I so ordered you?"

I considered for a moment. "I think I could make it look like he simply slipped off the Astronomy Tower. Probably would have to involve the Potter and Black for that, though."

Lily smiled at me. "You would put up with Potter and Black for me?"

I began laughing in earnest. "That seems the greater sacrifice than committing murder for you?" She gave me a look. "Yeah, you're probably right,"

She turned and smiled again. "Thanks."

I hugged her tightly. "I'd do anything for you."

We left the bathroom arm-in-arm, and when we got back to the dormitory we lay on her bed and talked about our nights. Lily was asleep before Alice and Marlene got back, so I shushed them and pulled my covers over my head.

I let out a long breath. It was nights like this when I really wondered about the future. Not necessarily about mine, but Lily's. After Ian died…well, I got worried that she might not be able to love someone like that again. As I drifted off, I wished that Lily would end up with another man willing to die for her, and I prayed that this time he wouldn't have to.

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><p><strong>Please let me know what you think and leave a comment below! :)<strong>

**An update might actually be on time next week! I'm not going to make promises, because it _never _works out the way I want it to, but I'm at a really good place right now and I'm officially on Christmas break, so there's a good chance. :)_  
><em>**

**See you guys later!**

**~AMQ**


	9. Home Again

**Hello hello! First of all, thank you to everyone who added this story to their alerts/favorites. And a special thanks to AnneDance1711 and Kaylee13133 for your reviews! :)**

**I'm so happy that this chapter was on time. It feels like it's been forever since that happened. Unfortunately, with Christmas getting so close, I won't have as much time to work on the next chapter either. I will be working on it, but I can't guarantee that it will be ready by next week. I will, however, have it out the week after. **

**Just so you guys know, this chapter and the next are more Alyssa/minor character centric than anything else. No Marauders for a couple chapters. Boo. But they will return soon! Do not worry. ;) So without further ado, here is chapter 9! Please enjoy and leave a review. :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 9<strong>

Two days after the ball, we packed our things and boarded the Hogwarts Express. Just before I could slip into a compartment after Lily and Brooke, a hand caught my arm. I turned and locked eyes with Adam.

"Adam!" I squeaked, suddenly nervous.

See, after chasing Lily down at the ball the other night and staying with her for the remainder of the evening… I hadn't seen Adam since. I hadn't even made an effort to seek him out. In all honesty, I'd only left Gryffindor Tower to eat, and even then, that was only twice. The other times, Alice and Marlene had brought back enough food for us all to have a picnic in our room, and we'd made somewhat of a girls' weekend of it.

I tried to convince myself that I wasn't avoiding him, but even I didn't believe the lie.

"Can we talk?" he asked me.

I really didn't have much of a choice there, did I? What excuse could I possibly make to get out of that? Plus, there was nowhere to run. He could simply follow me into any compartment I chose. Reluctantly, and feeling like I had just signed my death warrant, I nodded.

Adam moved his hand down to hold mine, eliciting an immediate blush. He pulled me into an empty compartment and closed the door behind us, pulling the blind shut as well. I rubbed my sweaty palms down my jeans.

_He's going to be so furious that I ran the other night,_ I thought.

_That's his problem. More important things were at stake!_ the other side of my mind argued.

As he turned around, I found the words tumbling out of my mouth against my will. "I'm sorry!" I wasn't sure why I felt the need to apologize, especially since I'd apologized right before I ran off the other night, but I just felt like I had to. "I'm sorry I ran the other night at the ball, but you saw– I mean, I think you saw– but Lily was crying and–"

"Hey, hey, hey," he interrupted, holding his hands up in a placating gesture. "It's all right. I get it; your best friend needed you more than I did at the time."

I blinked. "You… understand?"

"Of course."

"So… why–"

Adam flashed a lopsided smile. "You _do_ remember what else happened, don't you?"

Well, yeah, how could I forget?

"Maybe you should remind me," I teased, the words coming unbidden to my lips.

Wait, what?

Marlene would be so proud of my flirting. But at the moment, I was horrified at what had just come out of my mouth.

Thankfully, Adam took it in stride. In fact, he laughed.

He stepped closer and prodded my chin upwards with a finger. He leaned in close, and when his lips touched mine…

Nothing.

It was exactly the same as before. It was sort of… Blah.

Not exactly the fairytale moment a little girl dreams of.

He pulled away just far enough to look me in the eye. "I'm not going to assume anything, so I'm asking properly." I held my breath as he paused. "Alyssa, will you be my girlfriend?"

I'd never felt so conflicted in my life. So kissing wasn't all it was cracked up to be. There were still the butterflies in my stomach when he looked my way, and I felt inexplicably giddy in his presence. Those were good things, right?

So I whispered, "Yes."

He kissed me again, and I tried to ignore the voice in the back of my mind telling me that this wasn't right.

**o0o0o0o**

After our mini-excursion at the beginning of the train ride, Adam and I went our separate ways. He had to meet up with some friends to talk about some Quidditch strategies for the springtime matches, and I gladly took the opportunity to run back to the girls.

I shouldn't have been so excited to return. Once I stepped into the compartment, I was bombarded with questions.

"Where have you been?"

"Were you with Adam?"

"Of course she was with him, where else would she be?"

"Look, she's blushing!"

"I bet he kissed her."

"Oh, was it good, Alyssa? Tell us everything!"

I grumbled as I sank into a seat. "I bloody hate you all."

"We know," said Alice. "Spill it. Now."

So I spent the majority of the rest of the ride telling them everything about Adam and I. It was actually quite exhausting, and I was ever so thankful when Lily strode in from her prefect rounds and pulled me outside.

"What's going on?" I asked her.

She shook her head and pulled me all the way down to the end of the car, where she found the empty compartment I'd been in with Adam earlier. I sat down on one of the benches and she sat across from me, clutching a sheaf of parchment.

"I've finally finished that research on skiakyns," she told me.

I tensed and leaned forward. "And?"

She took in a deep breath. "I.. don't know, to be honest. I haven't completely finished writing out my own theories, but I figured you've waited long enough and this will give you something to think about over break."

Lily passed the parchment over to me, and I flicked through each sheet. They were all filled top to bottom with her tiny writing, some diagrams out to the side, some doodles to go along with her thoughts.

"How did you get all of this out of that one small book?" I asked.

"A lot of it consists of my theories," she answered. "Just… hold on to it until you can read it alone, all right? Some of it might be overwhelming."

I looked up at her. "Is it bad?"

Lily looked at me with such uncertainty that it scared me. She was always so sure of everything, so confident. But now, she looked like she was contemplating a million different possibilities, each outcome worse than the last.

"I wish I could tell you," she said.

"That's encouraging," I tried to joke, but it came out strained.

The train began to slow, so we stood to head back to our compartment and gather our things. Lily stopped me before we left and hugged me tight.

"Just… hold on, okay?" she murmured. "We'll figure something out."

My throat was too tight to speak, so I nodded.

We went back to where the other girls were sitting, and I stuffed the parchment into a bag, slinging it over my shoulder.

As soon as the train came to a halt, the corridors were crowded with students eager to go home for Christmas. I tried to prolong the inevitable just a little bit more, if only because I wasn't quite ready to face the throngs of people on the platform. But my friends were leaving already, and I didn't want to be left behind before I could say goodbye.

I followed everyone to the platform, where I received hugs from Alice, Marlene, and, to my surprise, Brooke. She'd never been the one to initiate touch, and I added it to my list of accomplishments.

Lily pulled me into a tight hug, but didn't let go for a while. She whispered in my ear, "When do you leave for Germany?"

"Next Saturday," I whispered back.

"I'll write you. Let me know what you think of those notes if I don't see you before you leave." She pulled back and gave me a tight smile. I nodded.

"Alyssa!"

I turned and saw my cousin Hestia waving to me, standing on her tiptoes to see over the heads of the crowd. I finished my goodbye and hurried off.

Hestia linked arms with me and pulled me along. "My parents say you're coming home with us for now."

That immediately shot anxiety through my veins. Where were my parents? Had something happened?

Uncle Peter and Aunt Clara both greeted me warmly when we were close enough. But I could see the stress lines around their eyes, their forced smiles. Uncle Peter kept rubbing his temple like it ached.

"What's going on?" I asked as Clara wrapped me in her arms.

"Don't worry, all right, love?" she answered. "Your parents were called in to work and couldn't make it to pick you up. They said they would come to get you when they got off work; don't concern yourself too much with it."

But it _was_ a concern. They both asked off work to come collect me on days like this. If Dad had to be called in to work, it meant that there had been an attack. And if Mum had been called in, that meant there were enough dead and injured that the normal Healers on duty wouldn't be able to handle it all. Something _had_ happened, and it was bad. Yet no one wanted to tell us. I looked around the train station and I noticed the same thing. Kids talking animatedly while their parents smiled and nodded, but then looking over their shoulders as though someone might be lurking in the shadows, waiting to attack when everyone's guard was down.

How could I not worry when people were dying and no one wanted to speak about it?

**o0o0o0o**

"Tell us about school, girls," Aunt Clara prodded while we set the table for dinner.

"Oh, it's just the same old stuff," Hestia shrugged. "You know, Potions is awful as always, McGonagall is ruthless in Transfiguration, and Slughorn is still promoting his god-awful 'Slug Club.'" She snorted and shook her head. "Really, what an appealing name. Yeah, I'll sign right up for that."

"I thought it was invitation-only," I remarked, "and pureblood exclusive. We couldn't get in. Half-bloods, remember?"

"Of course I remember," she answered, rolling her eyes. "It's pureblood exclusive _most_ of the time. One of my friends in Hufflepuff got invited, and she's half."

"Now that you mention it, I think Lily might have said something about it, but I think she's been avoiding going to any meetings, or whatever it is that they do."

"That just doesn't seem fair," Clara said, frowning. She handed me a handful of silverware to put on the table.

"Yeah, well, what do you expect from Slytherins?" Hestia said.

"Enough of that," her mother said firmly. "Tell me something else."

"What else has happened? Let's see, of course there was the ball; that was fun, lots of dancing. Gryffindor epically lost the first Quidditch match, how embarrassing. Potter was distraught, wasn't he, Alyssa?" Hestia continued to prattle on, and I tuned her out while I set everything on the table.

No matter how hard I tried to distract myself, my mind kept racing with everything that had happened. Lily researching skiakyns. Brooke's continuing jumpiness, even if she had been getting better over the last several months. Attacks still going on everywhere. And the one good thing in it all–

"…oh, and Alyssa got a boyfriend," Hestia said in a singsong tone.

I dropped the silverware I'd been holding, and jumped back before the knife could impale my foot. It clattered loudly on the wooden floor, and I glared at my cousin. "Hest!"

"Not my fault you're clumsy," she fired back.

"That's not what I meant!" Surely my face was red as a tomato.

"Oh, come off it. You know it's true." The smirk on her face could have rivaled Sirius Black's. Now _that_ was infuriating.

I picked up the knife and rinsed it off in the sink. "You can't prove that."

"Can't I?"

Slowly, apprehensively, I looked up at her. The look on her face was quite evil if I'm honest. It was… frightening.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She casually inspected her nails, leaning up against the counter. "I may or may not have seen you sneaking off with an extremely attractive Ravenclaw boy."

"We were not _sneaking–_"

She pointed her finger triumphantly in my face. "Aha! So you admit you were with him!"

"Well, I-I, er," I stammered, then blurted out, "I saw you getting awfully close to Richard Boot at the ball! What was that about, hmm?" Hestia paled.

"Girls, girls!" Uncle Peter, who had been quietly chopping vegetables, cut in. I belatedly realized that I had called Hestia out on her romantic endeavors in her dad's presence. My bad. "This isn't a match to find out who can embarrass the other more. Honestly, one would think you two were sisters the way you taunt each other." He fixed us with a hard stare. "Now, make up to each other."

Hestia and I, now thoroughly chastised, met eyes and muttered, "Sorry."

"Good. Sit down; dinner's ready."

Later that evening, Hestia and I stretched out on her gigantic bed. I sighed, unreasonably comfy. It was like lying on a cloud.

"Your bed is my favorite," I muttered.

She sighed in contentment. "I know, right?"

We sat in silence for a while, and I had nearly drifted off to sleep when she propped herself up on one arm and said, "I feel like I never see you anymore."

I opened my eyes and looked at her. She was right. Recently, we'd never done much more than wave and say a few words in passing. "Yeah, I know. I guess a lot of it's been my fault. I've been so caught up with Brooke and Adam that I sort of pushed everything else– including you– to the side."

She shrugged. "My fault too." Her cheeks got a sudden pink tint. "You weren't wrong about Richard Boot."

I laughed, and soon enough she joined in. She lay down again and snuggled closer. I turned on my side so I could face her, assuming the same position we always had when we were little and had regular sleepovers. I missed those days, and wished we could go back to those times. No worries about our friends, no war, just us with our imaginations to guide us.

Slowly, we drifted off to sleep. And for once, I was completely comfortable as I slept.

**o0o0o0o**

When we woke up the next morning, the smell of bacon was permeating the house. After the huge dinner we'd had last night, I thought I would never be able to eat again. But my stomach let out an appreciative growl anyway.

Hestia and I trudged downstairs. I stared at the back of her head while we walked, and I snorted when I realized that Uncle Peter was right: Hestia and I could have passed for sisters, with our almost matching flannel pajama pants, oversized shirts, and wild brown curls that we hadn't bothered to tame. The only major difference was our eyes. I took after my dad's wide blues, and she took her mum's almond-shaped hazel eyes.

There were more than two voices in the kitchen, I realized as we got closer. I tuned in, trying to pick up on who they were, and I wasn't disappointed.

I ran around Hestia, into the kitchen, and straight into my dad's arms. He held me so tightly that my feet lifted off the ground. I finally let myself admit how scared I'd been that my parents wouldn't come back.

"I missed you," I whispered.

Dad kissed the side of my head and put me down. "We missed you too, honey."

Mum hugged me next and I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders. As we all sat down for breakfast, I looked around at my family. Here we all were, safe and intact. Dad and Uncle Peter were bantering as usual, Mum and Aunt Clara rolled their eyes, and Hestia and I giggled at their antics from time to time. I allowed myself a smile. In that moment, it felt like nothing outside these walls– not Voldemort, not his followers, not this damn war–could touch us.

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><p><strong>Please let me know what you think! If I don't get the chance to update before then, Merry Christmas!<strong>

**~AMQ**


	10. Intense In-Laws

**Hi! I hope you all had a merry Christmas! Here is the chapter, and I think I'm getting caught up to where I can have a couple chapters stored up before posting them. I'm already a good bit of the way through the next chapter. I just chose to hold on to this one so I could stick to a relatively normal update time. Also, my editor couldn't get to it until about five minutes ago. :P**

**I'm rambling. I'll shut up now. Enjoy!**

**The normal disclaimer still applies, blah blah blah, I don't own it.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 10<strong>

A week later, I was packing my bags for the upcoming trip to Germany for Christmas. I roughly shoved a couple shirts in the bag with shaking hands. My heart was beating erratically and I couldn't stop my eyes from cutting to the stack of parchment on my bedside table every few seconds.

I'd just read Lily's notes about skiakyns. As she said, they were overwhelming.

The concept of skiakyns began simply enough. They dreamed of the people they "connected" to, usually only a select few people. But as the years went by, the skiakyns mutated. They connected to more and more people. Not only that, but the wounds received in the dream transferred over into the skiakyn's waking moments. Each skiakyn lived a shorter life than the ones before him.

That was all stuff I already knew from Defense Against the Dark Arts.

But Lily took it a step farther. She even copied a passage from the book she'd borrowed describing one of the first skiakyn's life and his endeavors. He'd connected to a knight of the Round Table during the reign of King Arthur, near the end of his life. The skiakyn had run to Morgana, who seized the opportunity to end her half-brother's reign. But in the weeks leading up to the final battle, the skiakyns began having more and more dreams about comrades and enemies alike. Some began plotting against Morgana; some snapped under the strain of others' emotional turmoil, and killed their companions without discrimination. They had become dangerous. Most of the casualties in the final battle were caused by the skiakyns, and the ones that survived were later destroyed by Merlin himself.

Supposedly.

Skiakyns weren't supposed to be able to reproduce with humans, seeing as how they themselves were barely human. They were born from pure magic, with little human blood in them at all. So that was that. Right?

A sharp tap at the window jolted me into the present.

I looked over, and there was a brown owl with a letter clenched in its beak. I unlocked the window and pushed it upwards, allowing the owl to swoop in and settle on the bedpost. The letter it carried was from Lily, judging by the script on the outside, but she didn't own an owl. Where did this one come from?

I eyed the owl cautiously as I approached, but he hooted kindly and even allowed my to stroke his head as I read Lily's letter.

_Alyssa,_

_EMERGENCY. Leaky Cauldron, ASAP. Drop what you're doing and meet me there. Usual table. I'll be waiting._

_-Lily_

_P.S. Please feed Theo before you send him back. Poor thing has to be exhausted. He belongs to Remus, and I feel bad for using him without asking Remus first, but Theo was willing and I was desperate… I'll explain to Remus later. See you soon._

All thoughts of skiakyns fled my mind for the moment. Trying not to panic over the apparent urgency of Lily's message, I looked at Theo and realized that, for once, an owl had not tried to attack me.

"I like you," I told him. Theo hooted in what I assumed was appreciation.

Tentatively, I held out my arm. Theo flapped his wings and perched himself on my arm, and I felt a strange sense of pride at the accomplishment, even though it was entirely the owl's personality and nothing I had done. It just meant that there was one owl in the world that didn't hate me at first sight.

I walked down to the kitchen and rummaged through a drawer, looking for the owl treats my dad kept for the Ministry owls that came through from time to time. I came up with three in hand and allowed Theo to pick them out of my palm. I filled a small bowl with water and figured that Theo could hunt on his own if he wanted, so I took him and the bowl back to my room and set both down on the desk.

"Stay as long as you like and then head home to Remus, all right?" I told Theo, stroking his head once more. I grabbed a coat and went back downstairs to the fireplace, taking a handful of Floo powder and speaking my destination as clearly as I could without yelling.

I felt the heat of the fire, and the spinning of Floo travel, and when I slowed I stepped out into the Leaky Cauldron. Blinking the soot away, I scanned the room and found Lily at the table by the window, as she said.

"What's wrong?" I asked, slipping into the booth. I studied her face. She seemed to be fine, at least in the sense that there wasn't any blood or bruises forming anywhere that I could see.

"Lyssie, it's _awful_!" she moaned. I blinked, slightly thrown off by the nickname she'd given me in first year. I hadn't heard her use it in ages, though.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts. "Um… what is?"

Lily leaned in close. "Petunia's got a _boyfriend_."

That was it? Petunia got– Wait.

"What?!" I nearly yelled. A few patrons in the surrounding booths turned and stared.

"I know!"

"Wait, what happened to the last one? What was his name– Walter?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Apparently she dumped him a couple months ago. That was news to me. Shame, though. He was actually halfway decent."

"What's this one like?"

She groaned and slumped in her seat. "His name is Vernon Dursley, and he's some kind of businessman. I don't know what for, I was too shocked to ask. And she really seems to like him, but my God, he is the most rude and arrogant prat I have ever had the misfortune of meeting."

That came as a shock to me. "Even including Potter and Black?"

"Even including them."

"Damn," I whispered.

Tom the bartender brought over two mugs of hot chocolate and set them down in front of us. We thanked him as he backed away, and Lily immediately scalded her tongue on the hot drink.

I snorted, and she shot me a glare. "Anyway," she continued. "They already seem to be serious about their relationship. Like, _we're talking about_ _marriage_ serious."

"But they can't have been together more than a couple months, right?" I frowned.

"That's what I'm saying! Dad isn't too happy about it either, but Mum is over the moon." She took a careful sip of her drink before continuing. "And here's the worst part of it all: he knows I'm a witch, that there's a magical world."

I almost choked. "Petunia told him? Why?"

"Beats me. But I can't even describe the look he gave me as soon as I walked in the door yesterday. It was like he immediately loathed me, even without meeting me first."

I winced and tried to phrase my next words carefully. "Well, to be honest, Lils, your sister probably was not too kind in her description of you."

Lily sighed. "You're probably right." She looked at me forlornly. "I don't want Vernon as my brother-in-law."

"I don't know if it's any consolation, but I'm meeting Andrew's girlfriend next week, and she'll probably be my sister-in-law one day." I propped my head on my hand. "I think we should both accept the fact that we might one day be bound by law to people we are not exactly thrilled about at the moment."

Lily scrunched up her nose in distaste, but didn't say anything. However, in the next moment, her back straightened and she looked at me with new urgency. "Did you read those notes I gave you?"

_And here I was having a nice afternoon, _I grumbled to myself.

I took a huge gulp of hot chocolate and winced as it burned my throat. "Yeah. I read them."

She waited for me to continue.

"What am I going to do, Lily?" I whispered. "This skiakyn stuff… I can't be one. I just _can't_, I can't be… be this evil, vile creature, can I?"

She hesitated for a moment. I narrowed my eyes. "What?"

"Well, that's something I want to talk to you about," she said. My heart sank. "I've been thinking about this for the past week, and I think I've decided that you're _not_ a skiakyn."

That was unexpected. "What?" I gasped.

She nodded, and there was a tone of hope in her voice when she spoke. "Think about it: the last skiakyn lived over fifteen hundred years ago. He died only about a hundred years after King Arthur's rule ended. That means the skiakyns were only around for about a century total, and this skiakyn was only eighteen years old when he died. And we both know that skiakyns lived short lives. Alyssa, if you were a skiakyn, you wouldn't even have lived past infancy. It was a long shot, anyway. Merlin wiped them out. Furthermore, skiakyns connected to _other_ people and had dreams about _their_ memories. The only things you've seen are your own memories. To me, it sounds more like a stress or emotional damage thing. You know, from…" She trailed off, but I understood.

I took a moment to process what she had just told me. "So… I'm not–"

She shook her head, smiling. "No. No, Lyssie, you're safe. I mean, I'd still like to see what it is going on with you, but I don't think it's anything as drastic as being a skiakyn."

Relieved, I could do nothing but laugh. I slumped back in my seat and laughed for a long time, and soon enough Lily joined me. That earned us a few more odd looks, and we only laughed harder.

My sides were cramping by the time we quieted down. "I feel like I can finally breathe again. Thank you, Lily."

She shrugged. "What can I say? I'm the best friend ever."

"That you are, Lils."

We were laughing again as we left the Leaky Cauldron and went into Diagon Alley to do some Christmas shopping. I hadn't felt so light, so free in ages, and I spent the time with my best friend acting like total dorks, more so than usual.

I was safe.

**o0o0o0o**

Two days later, I followed my parents into my grandparents' house in Germany. Almost immediately, my little cousin Luca plowed into my legs as he turned a corner, following his brother Josef. He gave me quick hug around my legs and ran off again in a matter of seconds. I could hear more small voices coming from upstairs, squealing and yelling to be heard over each other. We hadn't been there more than a couple minutes, and it was already chaotic. But I wouldn't have it any other way.

Mum went straight to the kitchen to find my grandmother, and Dad went right to the living room, where almost everyone else was gathered. I followed Mum, and as we got closer I could hear my Oma talking excitedly… and in English. Who was she talking to that she needed to speak English to?

The first person I saw when I walked in was my brother. He was leaning across the counter, trying to snitch some of the batter my aunt was working over. She smacked his hand away but I could see her trying to hide a smile.

Oma was sitting at the table talking with a girl I had never seen before, but I figured this was the famous Riley Scott my brother had told me about. I could only see the back of her head, but she had light brown hair straight as a pin. From what I could tell, she was about my height and size. I couldn't help but lift an eyebrow as I studied her. _This_ girl worked with dragons? How had she not been snapped in half by this point?

"Don't let her appearance fool you." Andrew's voice suddenly cut into my thoughts. I jumped, realizing that he was right beside me. He smirked. "She'll twist anyone's arm if you give her half a chance. Mostly me, though."

"And don't you forget it either," said Riley, turning around and pinning Andrew with a stare. She then smiled and stood, walking over to me. I could see why Andrew had frozen under her gaze. Her eyes were a mix of brown and green, but they were piercing. She was watching everything around her so closely I was sure she even noticed the small birthmark on my neck that usually went undetected. I was getting a strange vibe from her that I couldn't quite describe. "Hi, Alyssa. I'm Riley." She held out her hand and I shook it.

Well, she was polite. I could give her points for that.

Oma came over next and pulled me into a bone-crushing hug, gushing about how much she had missed me and that she wished we lived closer. I didn't even have time to respond before she grabbed my hand and Riley's. "Come, you both will help me with this cake."

In the next twenty minutes or so, Riley and I both ended up covered in all kinds of ingredients. Andrew had abandoned our aunt's cooking and moved on to bother us. Riley and I took turns smacking his hands away from the batter. Riley accidentally knocked over the flour while lunging for the chocolate icing my dumb brother had nicked, and I spilled a cup of water down my front when I had to do the same thing while Riley's back was turned. Oma finally kicked him out of the kitchen and sent him to talk with the rest of the family, but we could hear him laughing all the way down the hall.

"Idiot," I muttered under my breath, glaring at the mess we'd left on the counter. "How can you stand him?"

Riley laughed. "When you love someone as much as I love your brother, you learn to love their quirks as well."

I didn't have anything to say to that. She said it so casually, so naturally, like their relationship was set in stone. And from what I had observed, it was. The way Andrew looked at her and the way she looked at him, it was easy to tell that what they had was real.

"Hey," said Riley. "Why don't we go take a walk? Just the two of us."

Oh, great. She wanted to have a serious talk. That much was obvious, and while I didn't necessarily have a problem with Riley, it would certainly be uncomfortable. I didn't have a legitimate excuse for saying no, so I agreed.

We took off our aprons, which had thankfully taken the brunt of the cooking mess, and said a quick goodbye to the family before heading out the door. For a few minutes, it didn't seem like it was going to be much of a productive time. I kept my eyes trained ahead, focusing on where we were walking. We were heading towards town, and one of my favorite childhood stores was just around the corner. Maybe I could pick up some chocolate for Lily while we were there.

"So," Riley said suddenly, and I looked her way. She had her hands stuck in her back pockets, and she was looking at the ground while she walked. "You don't like me very much."

I actually stumbled a bit, catching myself and standing straighter. "What?" I said in a higher voice than was normal. I scoffed unconvincingly. "What gave you that idea?"

I know. I'm a terrible liar. Sue me.

Riley's mouth twitched in a partial smile. "You don't have to pretend, Alyssa. I can tell. I think you're unsure of how to feel about me, especially since this is the first time we've met and your brother and I are already talking about the future. You didn't have any time to prepare."

She kicked at the ground, sending some pebbles clattering a few feet away. "I understand, you know. In a way, I'm taking your brother from you. I felt that way when my older sister got married."

I swallowed heavily. She was right. Andrew and I had always had a close bond. Then suddenly, Riley walked into his life and I had to share Andrew's time and affection. It was a hard adjustment.

"Andrew and I get along better than most siblings do," I said, surprising even myself. "He's the reason behind most of my childhood injuries, and while that may be a point of tension for some siblings, we bonded over it. It gives us something to laugh about." I pointed up ahead. "When we still lived here, and he was home for the summer, he would take me to that park every day and push me on the swings. He taught me to swim in the pond behind Oma's house. And when he can manage it, he still picks me up from Platform 9 ¾ on the holidays so that he can take me out for ice cream, or a Muggle film, even though neither one of us have a clue what's going on." I laughed at the end there.

Riley joined in. "He's a great man, isn't he?" She smiled more easily now. "He talks about you a lot, you know. So I was a little bit scared when we came here, knowing that I would be meeting you. I was actually more scared of meeting you than I was meeting your parents."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I'm absolutely _terrifying_," I deadpanned. _Especially compared to you, Miss Dragon Warrior. _

We had reached the end of the street, where a cluster of restaurants and shops stood. She stopped and looked inside one store at the display in the window. "No, it's like you said. You and Andrew are closer than most siblings are. I was scared that you would hate me because I'm intruding on your relationship with him."

I leaned up against the brick wall of the store. "I don't hate you, or even dislike you, Riley. I'll be honest, at first I wasn't too fond of the idea of my brother being in a steady relationship– a running joke in our family is that Andrew's only serious relationships have scales, claws, bad breath, and are highly dangerous– so when he told me, my first thought was 'Is she human?' I was fully prepared to meet you and be disgusted with you."

I shook my head in disbelief. "But you aren't any of those horrible things– well, Andrew says you're dangerous, but that's beside the point. I knew you were kind and sweet and funny and smart from the very moment you opened your mouth." Here came the hard part. "And as hard as it is for me to admit, I know you're right for him."

Riley was smiling softly at me, and I lowered my eyes when I had finished. She took my hand in hers and squeezed.

"Thank you for telling me that," she said in an almost-whisper. "And just so you know, if you ever need your brother, I won't stand in your way. He will always be there for you. I promise. We both will."

I smiled back.

No more than three seconds later, we heard a voice shouting for us.

"Alyssa! Riley!"

We turned and saw Hestia running towards us. She wheezed as she came to a stop. "Merlin, I thought I would never catch up to you two. Were you ever going to stop? In the next town over, maybe?"

I rolled my eyes. "Drama queen. We didn't go _that_ far."

She took a deep breath and said, "I was sent to bring you both back to the house. Oma says it's going to be dinnertime soon."

Riley's eyes widened and she glanced at her watch. "Have we really been gone that long?"

"Told you! You two walked for ages!" Hestia cried.

Riley grinned at me. "Race you back?"

"You're on," I challenged.

So we both took off, leaving Hestia shrieking behind us, "Come on! Really?!"

I laughed and ran faster, on Riley's heels. She was right. In her relationship with Andrew, I wasn't losing a brother. I was gaining a sister. She nearly plowed over Andrew as we ran into the house. He caught her, laughing loudly. I suddenly thought of the word best to describe Riley.

Intense.

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><p><strong>What did you all think? Don't forget to review!<strong>

**~AMQ**


	11. Confrontation

**Hello! Sorry this is out at a later time than usual, but hey, it's still Tuesday right? Right. That's what matters.**

**I don't really have time right now to write a longer author's note, so thanks to everyone who followed or favorited! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own HP.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 11<strong>

The rest of the Christmas holiday flew by. Riley and I formed a close bond in the short time we had together, and I was sad that I wouldn't see her until Easter break at the very earliest, but I usually stayed at school for that week. It was more likely that it would be summer until we could see each other again. But she promised to write as often as possible, so that made it a little bit easier.

Andrew and Riley accompanied me and my parents to Platform 9 ¾ on the day I was due to go back to school. We were still quite early, so there was almost no one there that I cared to catch up with at the moment.

"I kind of wish I could go back to Hogwarts," said Riley, gazing nostalgically at the train. "But at the same time, I really don't want to go back to the schoolwork."

I laughed. "Yeah, that kind of takes away from the greatness of Hogwarts, doesn't it? It's still fantastic though. I wouldn't trade it for anything."

We killed the time by listening to Andrew and Riley's best stories from their Hogwarts years. Andrew swore that Riley had a crush on him even when they were in school, even though she was only a third year in his seventh year and they hardly ever crossed paths at the time. Riley insisted that she had never had any such feelings for him– not until they began working together, anyway.

"I know this because I had a crush on Jared Parker when I was in third year," Riley stated triumphantly.

Andrew made a face. "Well, I still think–"

"Excuse me," said another voice, one that immediately had me tensing up.

I turned around, ready to tell Black to bugger off, but he wasn't even looking at me. He was looking straight at my parents. He was wearing an easy smile, and for once he didn't look like the arrogant prat he was.

"Mr. and Mrs. Jones," he said, holding out his hand. My dad shook it, then my mum. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but do you mind if I talk to Alyssa for a moment? I'm afraid it's urgent."

"Of course, we don't mind at all," Mum assured, giving him a smile in return.

I turned my head around so fast that I could have given myself whiplash. I tried to stare daggers at my mum, trying to silently ask her what the hell she was doing and didn't she know how much I detested Black's presence and was she seriously going to make me walk off with him?

I didn't get her attention and thus, had no way of voicing my complaints. Without a moment's hesitation, Black thanked them, put his hand on my shoulder, and steered me away from my family. Dad's eyes were boring into the back of my head, as were Andrew's. I bit my cheek to keep from exploding.

Black stopped at the far wall of the platform. My back was facing my family, so I let the mask drop so that he could easily see the annoyance on my face. But before I could say anything, he beat me to it.

"Just this once, Jones, I'll be civil with you if you'll be civil with me. Just hear me out, all right? It's something you'll want to hear," he promised, nothing but sincerity in his tone. The smile he had worn for my parents was gone without a trace.

Prejudice and past wrongs put behind me for the moment, I straightened from my slumped position against the wall and focused on him. Black's mouth was set in a grim line. Bloody hell, it must have been awful for him to look so down.

"What happened?" I asked softly.

Black worked a hand through his hair in clear frustration. "I don't know the exact details. To be honest, it's only a suspicion of mine. But I felt like someone had to know and you were the first one here."

I waited for him to continue. He fidgeted a little more, and I realized that I had never seen him so distraught. Black was a laidback guy; nothing ever seemed to get under his skin, not even when I threw insult after insult at him. And believe me, I'd been known for some clever insults. But he was downright agitated.

"Over the holiday, I went to visit the Potters quite a bit. One day, Brooke was there too," he began.

A pit opened up in my stomach.

"Is she okay? Did something happen? What's wrong with her?" I fretted.

Black waved a hand in my direction. "Let me finish. She's alive, if that's what you're wondering." I let out a breath in a slow _whoosh._ "But her arm was bandaged up to her elbow. She said it was a bad sprain, but I didn't believe it."

"So you think she lied straight to your face? Come on, Black, she's not like that."

"Is that so?" he challenged, meeting my eyes. "I know what I saw, Jones. She wouldn't look at me when she told me it was a sprain. I let it slide, but later I was passing the bathroom and she had left the door open. She didn't notice me and I didn't stick around, but she was checking her arm. The entire bandage was off. And Jones, her whole arm was black and blue."

My heart literally stopped beating for a second.

"The bruises were shaped like handprints."

I felt nauseous. All the sounds around me faded to a dull roar.

It took a long time for me to catch my breath and form words. "Surely…" I swallowed hard. My voice shook as I spoke. "Surely you're not saying… She's abused at home?"

Black shrugged, looking a little ill himself. "I don't know if that's exactly what it is, but that was my first thought. I didn't say anything to her about it, figured that if she wanted to talk about it she would do it in her own time. But if I wait for that to happen…"

"She might never say anything," I finished for him. He nodded. "So what do you want me to do about it?"

"Just watch out for her, okay? Pay close attention to her. She's acting kind of shy and jumpy again, but I don't think anyone would catch it if they weren't looking for it. And if she lets something slip, or you see something that might confirm it… Let me know. We'll go to Dumbledore, or McGonagall, or someone who can help her."

I nodded in agreement. "Merlin knows she won't go on her own. I'll see what I can figure out."

"Right. Later, Jones."

And with that, he walked off, disappearing into the growing crowd. I made my way back to my family.

As soon as she saw me, Riley asked, "Was that your boyfriend?"

I cringed. "Merlin, no! No, no, no, no. That was Sirius Black. I can't stand him!"

"Really?" she drawled, arching one eyebrow skeptically. "You two seemed awfully friendly."

_Yeah, that's what you think,_ I thought to myself.

"I just can't see why you complain about him so much, Alyssa," Mum remarked cheerily. "He seems like such a nice young man. So polite!"

"He was just putting on a show for you," I muttered. Seriously, the one time Black decided to show up with my parents around, and he had to go and be the picture of a gentleman!

"Are you sure you two aren't friends?" Andrew asked. "I mean, it didn't really look like you two hated each other. In fact, I think he might have had half a mind to kiss you and–"

"Ew!" I shrieked. "No! I have a boyfriend, and he has a girlfriend, and there will never– and I mean absolutely _never_– be any _kissing_ between me and Black!" I shuddered at the thought.

"Yeah, okay, keep telling yourself that."

"What's that supposed–"

I halted when I saw Remus walking through the crowd. An idea struck me.

"Gotta go, love you all, bye!" I said rather quickly, hugging my parents, waving to Andrew and Riley, and then bolting off in the direction that I saw Remus walk off to.

"Remus! Remus, Remus, Remus!" I called out.

He turned around and smiled. I stopped in front of him and threw my arms around his neck. He laughed and reciprocated the hug.

"How was your Christmas?" he asked me.

I pulled away and smiled. "Good, yours?"

"Excellent."

I tucked my hands into my pockets, trying to be casual about what I was about to ask. "Did you do anything interesting over break?"

He shrugged. "I stayed at the Potters' for a few days, spent some time with my parents. Saw Brooke a little bit." His face reddened, and in spite of the situation, I couldn't help but laugh.

"How was she? I haven't been able to talk to her at all for the past couple weeks."

"You know, it's strange," Remus said, frowning. "Before we left she seemed to be better than she ever had been. But we leave for a couple weeks, and the next time you see her, it's like the past few months didn't happen. She's closed herself off again. Wouldn't really let anyone touch her, hardly spoke at all. I was surprised that she even showed up in that state."

I frowned, pretending like I didn't have an idea of what had happened. "What do you think was wrong?"

He shrugged again, looking off at a point over my shoulder. "Can't say for sure, but I get the feeling that she doesn't really like being at home. But hopefully, a couple weeks back at school will get her back to normal."

"Yeah, maybe," I mumbled.

Soon enough, it was time to board the train. I hadn't caught sight of any of my roommates yet, but figured that they would make it. They always did.

"You want to sit with us?" Remus offered, his hand holding a compartment door open. I peeked around him and saw Black and Potter sitting there, talking Quidditch or pranks or something.

I smiled and shook my head. "I don't think so, but thanks for the offer. I'm going to try to find the girls. See you later, though, yeah?"

"Of course. Later, Alyssa." He entered the compartment and slid the door closed behind him.

I walked up and down the train and didn't find any of my friends, so I claimed a compartment for ourselves and settled down to wait for them.

The train had just begun to move when all four of my roommates entered the compartment.

"About time you lot showed up," I teased.

Alice rolled her eyes. "In my defense, Marlene is entirely to blame for making us late. She had to curl her hair."

Marlene shrugged. "Always have to look my best, you know?"

Lily sat beside me, and Brooke sat beside her. Brooke had yet to say a word. I reached across Lily's lap and took Brooke's hand. She flinched, but I pretended not to notice. I offered her a small smile, and she gave a shaky one in return. "How are you?" I asked.

She hesitated. "Fine," she answered.

My smile faltered. There she went again. _Fine._

Lily ended up dozing on my shoulder most of the way back to school, and Brooke pulled out a thick novel to read. Never once did her eyes stray from the pages. I chatted with Alice and Marlene about their breaks, and found that, while we had never been extremely close in the past, we were getting to the point of being very good friends that I would want by my side for years to come.

About halfway through the ride, our compartment door slid open and Adam peeked in. He smiled when he saw me. "Got a minute?"

I nodded and gently moved Lily's head off my shoulder and making sure she wouldn't fall. Alice and Marlene giggled behind me as I walked out of the compartment and followed Adam down the corridor to another empty compartment.

As soon as the door had closed behind me, Adam pulled me into his embrace. I melted and wrapped my arms around his torso, resting my head on his chest.

"I missed you," he said softly.

"I missed you too," I answered automatically.

He pulled back just far enough to kiss me gently. "I got something for you," he said, releasing me long enough to pull a long, thin box from his pocket. He added a bit sheepishly, "Sorry, it isn't wrapped."

I didn't mind. I took the lid off the box and found inside a silver necklace with a heart-shaped pendant. It wasn't extravagant, but it was beautiful, which suited me just fine. I wasn't a huge fan of flashy things.

"Oh, Adam, it's gorgeous," I breathed.

"Want me to put it on you?"

I nodded, and he lifted the necklace out of its box, going behind me and fastening it around my neck. The chain was shorter than I realized, resting right on my collarbone, but if anything, I loved it more.

A twinge of regret gripped my heart. "I didn't get you anything nearly as nice," I told him. I'd gotten him an special edition copy of _Quidditch Through the Ages_, signed by the editor and several famous Quidditch players, but even that didn't cost nearly as much as the necklace would have.

Adam kissed my cheek. "Whatever it is, I'm sure it's fantastic. Show it to me later, all right? Why don't you come to my compartment? You can meet some of my friends."

I agreed and followed him further down the train. The compartment was filled with a bunch of boys, and Adam introduced me to them as we sat down. I had met several of them at the Yule Ball, but there were still others that I hadn't met.

The rest of the ride to school was strange. I never realized that Ravenclaws– at least these particular Ravenclaws– lived up to their snooty, bookish stereotype. They gave each other riddles to solve, and before I could even work through the problem in my head, someone had spat out the answer. Correctly, I might add. They bragged about their OWL marks– which had been a year beforehand. When I told them that I had been reading a series of Muggle children's fantasy books, they looked down their noses at me. So I settled back in my seat and waited silently for the rest of the ride. There never seemed to be a good opportunity to excuse myself without offending Adam.

As soon as the train stopped in Hogsmeade station, I told Adam that I would see him later and ran back to the compartment I had been in with the girls. We gathered our things quickly and hurried to the carriages, all five of us cramming into one. I sat on Lily's lap to make more room.

"Where did you disappear to for so long?" Lily asked.

I leaned my head back to rest on her shoulder. "Adam wanted me to come back to his compartment with his friends. Merlin. Never let me do that again."

"What was so wrong about it?"

"They were all stuck-up, rude, and had better-than-you attitudes. I've met some truly nice and down-to-earth Ravenclaws before, but these people were downright obnoxious."

"And they are Adam's friends?" Alice asked, a frown pulling her mouth downwards.

"Yeah," I answered. "Why?"

She shrugged. "It's just… You know you reflect the people you spend the most time with. Be careful, Alyssa. I know you like him, and yes, you two are a cute couple… But I don't want you to get hurt by a careless comment he makes because he has a terrible attitude."

I smiled at her, but didn't tell her that I was worried about the same thing. "I'll be careful. And you can beat him up for me if he steps out of line, yeah?"

We all shared a laugh, and had an enjoyable time at dinner that night. Brooke didn't say much to us, but she wasn't paying any attention at all to the Marauders. I met Remus's eyes from several seats down, and I saw the hurt there. I tried to give him an encouraging look, silently promising that I would talk to her later. But I didn't know if he got the message; it could have looked like I was in a lot of pain.

After dinner, we all trekked up to Gryffindor Tower. A fire was crackling in the fireplace and reflecting its golden light across the room. I would never get over how cozy our common room was. Sometimes I enjoyed it more than my own home.

Our small group headed over to one corner of the room, but as I followed them, I noticed Brooke sneaking off to the girls' stairs. I told Lily that I would be right back and then followed Brooke to our dormitory. She was in the bathroom when I got there, so I sat on her bed and waited.

When she came out, her sleeves were rolled up, and she was rubbing her left arm gently, wincing in pain every now and then.

"You okay?" I asked, even though I knew for sure that she wasn't.

Brooke gasped and yanked her sleeve down to her wrist.

"Alyssa!" she breathed. "You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

"Sorry. What's that?"

"What's what?"

"Don't play dumb, Brooke," I said a bit more harshly than I intended. She flinched and ducked her head. I paused and collected myself. "Sorry. I didn't mean to snap."

She nodded, but didn't say anything. I stood and walked closer to her. She backed away, but I was faster. I snatched her left hand and brought it up to where I could see it.

"Alyssa, no," she protested.

I pushed up her sleeve anyway and took in the discoloration on her arm. The bruise had turned a nasty shade of yellowish-green. I could easily see the outline of fingers, like Black had described.

My breath caught in my throat, and tears pricked behind my eyes. It was true.

Brooke was dead silent, waiting for my reaction.

"Oh my God," I whispered. I absentmindedly reached a shaky hand to touch the bruise, as if touching it would confirm what I was seeing. "Brooke, who did this to you?"

She didn't even get the chance to respond. As soon as my fingertips made contact with her skin, my entire body seized up. A gasp ripped from my throat. Spots danced in my vision, and my knees hit the floor before I realized that I had even fallen.

"Alyssa!" Brooke's voice shouted. Were those her hands gripping my shoulders, shaking me?

The coldness in my stomach spread out to every limb. Brooke's voice was barely an echo now. In the next second, it was gone completely.

And then there was darkness.

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**EDIT (because I have time now): I JUST REALLY FEEL THE NEED TO EXPRESS MY NEW OBSESSION WITH BIG HERO 6 LIKE OH MY GOD THAT MOVIE. THAT. MOVIE. I SAW IT TWICE THIS WEEKEND AND OH MY GOD I CRIED LIKE A BABY. I JUST CANT WITH THE FEELS. THOSE HAMADA BROS THOUGH. UGH. THAT MOVIE.**

**OKAY I'M DONE BYE.**


	12. Blackout

**Crap, guys, I'm sorry this is late again. It's been a hectic day and I totally forgot about updating. I had a job interview today, had to drop off another application and resume somewhere else, went grocery shopping, and totally rearranged my room with my roommate and only a little extra help. Let me tell you guys, in case you're unfamiliar, college dorm room furniture is HEAVY. We had to use all of our body weight to move it all and we barely moved two inches at a time. I'll be feeling that in the morning...**

**Anyway, _if nothing else PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING COUPLE SENTENCES. THEY ARE VERY IMPORTANT!_**

**This chapter has a major TRIGGER WARNING! It deals with, and goes into some detail about, substance abuse and domestic/child violence. If this is something you cannot read, I suggest skipping this chapter entirely. There are three stars toward the end of the chapter, past the worst part of it, if you're up to reading the last part instead.**

**As always, please enjoy and review. And of course, I don't own Harry Potter.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 12<strong>

_As soon as my fingertips made contact with her skin, my entire body seized up. A gasp ripped from my throat. Spots danced in my vision, and my knees hit the floor before I realized that I had even fallen._

"_Alyssa!" Brooke's voice shouted. Were those her hands gripping my shoulders, shaking me?_

_The coldness in my stomach spread out to every limb. Brooke's voice was barely an echo now. In the next second, it was gone completely._

_And then there was darkness._

When I opened my eyes, I was in a house I didn't know. Morning light streamed in through the windows. There was a woman standing at a kitchen counter, wearing a sharp business suit and stirring a cup of coffee. A briefcase rested on the floor next to her feet.

"Mummy!" a small voice called, followed by the sound of bare feet hitting the floor. The woman turned and smiled as a little blonde girl rushed into the kitchen and latched herself around her mother's leg.

I took in a sharp breath as I realized who it was. _Brooke_.

She couldn't have been more than six or seven years old. Her hair was tied back into twin braids, and her wide brown eyes were brimming with tears.

"Brooke, darling, what's the matter?" the woman asked, lovingly brushing stay hair away from her daughter's face.

"I don't want you to go!" Brooke wailed.

"Oh, sweetheart." Her mother knelt down to Brooke's height. "I'll only be a few days. You and Daddy will be just fine here by yourselves. You two are going to the zoo tomorrow, remember? And you have a birthday party to go to this weekend. You're going to have lots of fun without me. All I'll be doing is boring work stuff." Her eyes twinkled. She seemed like a lovely woman, and a wonderful mother.

"That's right," said a new voice. A tall, broad-shouldered man came into the kitchen. He had to have been Brooke's dad. "You don't want to go… wherever it is with your mum. You'll have a lot more fun here with me!" At that, he grabbed Brooke around the waist and tossed her in the air, eliciting a giggle and then a squeal as he began to tickle her sides.

All three of them were laughing by the time Brooke begged, "Stop it, Daddy!"

The woman stood and kissed both her husband and her daughter. "I'll be back in a few days. Don't order out every night! And Brooke, your bedtime is still the same as always. No exceptions. Both of you, understood?" Her tone was stern, but the smile hadn't faded from her face.

"Yes, ma'am," Brooke and her father chorused.

The scene faded, and I was left to wonder what happened to the little girl Brooke once was.

Unlike my previous blackouts, I didn't wake up. This exceptionally clear episode kept going.

The light came back, and I blinked at the shift. Now Brooke and her father were sitting in the living room, a board game spread out in the floor in front of them. Brooke was seriously contemplating her move.

"Any day now would be nice," her father teased.

"I'm thinking!" she said, resting her chin in her hand.

A knock came at the door, and her father laughed as he stood to answer it. "You keep thinking while I see who's at the door, all right?"

Voices drifted from the entryway, but Brooke didn't seem to be paying attention until a loud, "What? What happened to my wife?" pierced the quiet.

Brooke's head shot up. She stood and ran to the entryway, where her father was slumped against the wall, head in his hands. Two men in wizard's robes stood on the front porch, Ministry of Magic tags pinned to their robes.

"Daddy?" Brooke asked in a trembling voice.

Her father whirled around and saw her standing there. He hastily tried to wipe his face free of tears, but was unsuccessful.

"We'll leave you to talk with your daughter, sir," said one of the Ministry wizards. "Again, we're sorry for your loss."

They apparated with a loud crack, leaving the front door wide open. Brooke's father kicked it closed while pulling Brooke into his arms.

"Brooke, sweetheart," he said softly. He had to clear his throat before speaking. "There was an accident. Your mum… Mummy won't be coming back, darling."

"…Never?" Brooke whispered, tears already falling down her cheeks.

Her father shook his head. "I'm so sorry, Brooke. I'm so sorry."

The scene shifted again just as Brooke let out an ear-piercing wail.

When the fog cleared, Brooke was the first person I saw. She was a couple years older at this point. She had grown several inches, and her hair was longer. But the carefree spark she'd worn like a glove a few years before had vanished.

She knocked on a closed door. "Daddy?" she asked quietly, timidly.

She must have heard his response, because she opened the door and walked in. She and I both gasped at the sight. Empty liquor bottles littered the floor, the bed, the furniture. Some of them had to have been old, probably sitting there for weeks, but there were a few new ones in a pile around her father's feet.

"What?" Brooke's dad slurred. He teetered back and forth on the edge of the bed. He raised a bottle to his lips, and most of the booze dribbled down his chin.

"What happened?" Brooke whispered. She kept her distance from her father, a huge difference in their character from the previous things I'd seen.

It took a long time for him to respond. He blinked several times at her, like he was trying to focus his vision. It was a miracle he hadn't passed out by that point.

"Lost my job," he mumbled. He took another huge swig of alcohol.

"You need to stop drinking, Dad," Brooke said. "It's not good for you. Please, Daddy–"

"Get out, kid," her dad ordered.

"I will, but please put the bottle down–"

"I said, _get out_."

"Dad –" Brooke made the worst mistake she possibly could have done. She reached for the bottle, wrapping her fingers around it and beginning to take it away, but her father was much too strong, and even in his inebriated state, far too quick for her. He yanked it away from her and grabbed her arm. She whimpered in pain.

"Get. Out," he growled.

"You're hurting me," Brooke whispered.

He snarled and shoved her away from him. Brooke caught herself on her hands and knees, then pushed herself to her feet and fled from the room.

The scene changed.

Brooke was another couple years older. She and her dad were standing in the kitchen. She had her hands behind her back, and I could see the yellowish color of parchment.

"Dad?" she said.

He grunted in reply.

"Um, I– I got this letter–"

"Who's writing you?" he interrupted, not looking up from the newspaper spread out on the counter.

Brooke faltered. "It's… it's the school… the school Mum went to."

He didn't answer for a moment. "Oh?"

"Yes, sir."

"What do they want?"

"I… I've been accepted. They want me to go to school there in the fall–"

"Well, too bad for them. You're not going."

"What?" Brooke said, shocked and more loudly than she had spoken in the entire conversation. "But why?"

"Because I said so, that's why. Get your shoes, it's time to go."

"No, Dad! Tell me why you don't want me to go to school!" Brooke shouted. There was a fire in her eyes that had rarely ever made an appearance.

Her father turned to look at her for the first time. In that one look, I could tell that he was hungover, and possibly still a little drunk. Also in that look was a fury to match his daughter's.

"I'm not paying anyone to teach my daughter _magic–_" he spat the word out like a vile taste. "–that won't be useful to you at any point in your life! It didn't save her, why would it save you? The answer is no!"

"Dad, that was an accident!" Brooke fired back. The dishes began to rattle in their cabinets.

Her father noticed too, and glared at her. "Stop that. Stop it right now."

"Why are you still blaming the magical world for what happened to Mum?" she asked, ignoring her father. "I'm part of that world, I want to learn about it!"

"I said, _stop!_" He stomped closer to her, but she didn't back down.

"No! I'm going and that's final!" she screamed.

With that, her father reared back his hand. Brooke's eyes widened as she realized what he was going to do. I closed my eyes, holding my breath for the moment to pass, for the sound of flesh hitting flesh, for the scream that was sure to follow.

But it never came.

"Alyssa, breathe!" a voice commanded.

I took in a huge gulp of air, my eyes snapping open. I looked straight into Lily's bright green eyes. Brooke stood behind her, looking concerned.

For a moment, I wasn't sure how I'd gotten there. I was still living in the moments I'd just seen, the glimpses of Brooke's childhood. But everything soon came rushing back to me, along with all the connections I'd never made before.

The reason she was always so careful to keep her life private. Why she never trusted anyone. Why she constantly tugged at her sleeves, like she was hiding every inch of skin she could. Why every touch set her off.

"Are you okay?" Lily whispered. "Brooke said you passed out."

My stomach churned. "Move," I ordered.

I scrambled to my feet and barely made it to the bathroom before emptying the contents of my stomach in the toilet. Lily followed me and held back my hair as I retched again. Tears pricked my eyes. How could something like that happen to such a sweet person as Brooke?

Lily rubbed my back until the heaving ceased. She felt my forehead for a fever, but I batted her hand away. I stood and rinsed my mouth out, brushing my teeth to rid myself of the disgusting taste I'd been left with.

"Are you sick?" Lily asked.

I shook my head. "Just let me have a minute with Brooke."

She looked at me in confusion, then at Brooke, who was still in the other room.

"Just go," I whispered. "It's fine." I winced at the poor choice of words.

She looked between me and Brooke one last time before leaving. I waited for the door to click behind her and for the sound of footsteps to fade before speaking.

"Why didn't you say anything?" I whispered, looking at Brooke.

Her eyes widened. "You know–"

"Yes, I know," I interrupted. "Why didn't you say anything, Brooke? We could have helped you."

Tears filled her eyes. "There wasn't anything you could do."

"Maybe not physically, but you didn't have to close yourself off from us!" My voice had gotten louder and louder as I spoke. "What good did that ever do you? Was being alone what you wanted? Hiding your life from us? You could have come home with us during the holidays. No one would have minded. You could have asked us for literally _anything_ and we would have done everything in our power to make it happen! You didn't _have_ to stay with your father!"

"You don't understand," Brooke cried. She swiped her tears away but they continued to pour down her face. "I couldn't give up the only family I have left."

"Brooke," I said, holding onto her shoulders. She tensed, and I loosened my grip. "Can you really call him your family if he abuses you?"

"No, you don't understand!" she repeated. "He– he went through phases. He wasn't always drunk and abusive. He would have a month or so at a time where he swore he wouldn't drink anymore, and he apologized and said he loved me. We were a family again. We went ice skating, we went on drives in the country, he showed me all these fun places and it was like none of the bad things had ever happened." She barely had the words out of her mouth before she broke down into body-shaking sobs.

Words failed me. In the span of five minutes, I felt like I understood Brooke better than I ever had.

I opened my arms to her, and for once she didn't hesitate to collapse into them. Her hands gripped at the back of my robes. I held her for a long time, slowly lowering our bodies to the floor while she let out years of pent-up hurt.

"Please don't tell anyone," she whispered a while later.

I closed my eyes, the internal conflict already building. Black would kill me if he found out that I knew something and didn't tell him. But what else was new? He hated me anyway. I'd never kept anything from Lily; she would know something was up. And Remus… he deserved to know. It was as simple as that. I'd seen the way he looked at her, how happy he looked around her. More than anyone else, I believed that they belonged together. He had to know.

"I won't say anything," I promised her. "But you know that Sirius suspects, right? Remus probably does, too. They're not idiots. They'll have to know eventually. So should the other boys, and Lily, Alice, and Marlene. They all have to know."

She met my eyes and shook her head vehemently. "They can't. They can't know!"

"Why not?"

"They would never let me go back," she whispered.

"You're probably right, but there's a possibility that you could negotiate with them." I shrugged. "Maybe you could go visit your dad every once in a while, but Merlin forbid they let you go alone. But, and you might hate me for saying this, it might be for the best that you not spend extended periods of time at home."

She pulled her knees to her chest. She took a few minutes to mull over my words. "Okay," she answered, shocking me. I never thought that she would concede so easily. "I'll tell them. But on my own time, okay?"

"Just don't take too long. Don't let them figure it out for themselves before you tell them."

Brooke nodded, then stood. "I'm going to go take a shower. Goodnight, Alyssa."

"Night."

I wiped my own tears away before making my way down to the common room. I shook my head at Lily as I passed, letting her know that I wanted to be alone. I climbed through the portrait hole and wandered down the corridor, not even caring that curfew was approaching.

"Jones."

I stopped and leaned against the wall while Black caught up to me. He stopped in front of me and took in my face. He stilled. "It's true, isn't it?"

"I told her I wouldn't say anything," I answered, but looked up and met his eyes. He read the answer there.

He slumped against the wall as well. "So what do we do?"

"Don't do anything."

Black turned to look at me, anger in every line of his face. "You want us to stand back and do nothing? Let it happen?"

"No, that's not what I'm saying." I crossed my arms. "And I'm not saying not to do anything _ever_, just to wait for a while. Look, I told her that she needs to tell you and everyone else herself, and that she couldn't wait for everyone to figure it out. I say we wait until she tells us and then decide what to do. But she can't go back to that house, not alone, anyway."

We stood in a silent face-off until Black nodded. "Fine. We'll wait. But I'm only giving her a couple weeks to come out with it. I'm not going to wait until the Easter holidays for her to go home and come back beaten to a pulp again."

"Fine."

For once, I was completely in agreement with Sirius Black. We walked back into the common room together, but went separate directions as soon as we were able. I went straight back to the girls' dormitory, ignoring the prying eyes all the way.

I went to bed wondering how we were going to keep Brooke safe from her father when she didn't even want to be safe.

* * *

><p><strong>And that's that.<strong>

**So. Brooke has a backstory. A rather awful one, at that. I actually had a hard time writing this; I hated doing it to her.**

**So please review?**


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